‘A hug isn’t the only way to show your grandchild affection’

All grandparents want to give their grandchildren a hug. I have seven of them. The youngest, Kitt, is just four. Setting off for primary school for the first time this week, looking so cute in his oversized uniform, he certainly deserved a huge hug from Grandpa. He had to make do with an elbow bump instead.

Why no hugs in the Brandreth family? Because those are the rules, and if we want to encourage our grandchildren to obey the rules at school, we should set an example at home. Lots of school rules seem pointless – why did I have to walk around the quad instead of across it? Why couldn’t I grow my hair long? But part of growing up is learning to go with the flow, even if you don’t always agree.

We know very few children get Covid-19, and the chances of contracting the virus from one of your grandchildren is small, but there’s a logic to minimising physical contact while the pandemic lasts. Besides, a hug isn’t the only way of showing affection.

My grandfather (Col Addison, MBE, late of the Indian Army) loved me lots, but he’d no more have thought of giving me a hug than he’d have dreamt of not standing to attention for the national anthem. Let’s not get all hung up on hugging.

During lockdown, we only saw our grandchildren through the window. On their daily outing, they would walk past our house with their parents to wave. We’d call out to them, and instead of a hug, we’d throw them each a Magnum ice cream. They loved that.

So much so that when they come round now for a socially distanced visit, they don’t want a hug – they want a Magnum.