Choc horror! Who ate the missing Quality Streets?
Quality Street is under fire because two of its chocs are no longer in production, although it beats me why the Chocolate Brownie (never heard of it) is less Covid-secure than, say, the Toffee Penny.
The Purple One is also AWOL, which is a bit of a blow to the dogs as I tend to suck off the caramel and make them perform demeaning tricks for the nuts.
But what am I saying? Quality Street along with Roses and the amusingly retro classic Milk Tray (I blame The Archers’ Naughty Milkman plotline for planting it in my head) are banned substances in Woods Towers. Not because we would collectively gorge ourselves silly, but because my children are so fussy, they won’t touch ’em, leaving every last one for me.
In fact, they have no grasp of the totemic significance of the Green Triangle – my absolute favourite.
When I was growing up, everyone had a favourite and a great big tin was the Christmas equivalent of a Fabergé egg. It is to my lasting regret I married a man who can’t be fobbed off with the nasty Coconut Eclair and Strawberry Mulch, so I end up reluctantly – but assiduously – polishing those off, too.
My 21st-century kids are presumably overloaded with sugar – why else did they turn up their noses at Guylian seashells the other evening? Me, I can recall gnawing on slimey squares of Scotbloc to get my illicit fix.
But the past is another country and our offspring have no idea that a Twix once cost seven pence. It’s now 65p – almost enough to buy a house back then. Not that my fusspot offspring like proper Twixes; it’s either horrid Celebrations or tiny Twirl Heroes. Inc Incidentally, apropos the Green Trian Triangle, I heard you can no now get great big bags of single flavour Q Quality Street. But I al also know I would eat th them all at once and pr probably die of hy hyperglycaemia.
And I couldn’t po possibly die happy un until the Chocolate Bro Brownie returns. Could it b be my new favourite? The There is only one way to squ square the conf confectionery circle…