FOR THE REALITY TV ADDICT: I’M A CELEBRITY

Praise the lockdown lords, because Christmas is coming early to our televisions. My personal pick of the pressies on display on Sunday Nov

15 is not The Crown

(aka Downton Abbey for the Netflix generation) nor Small Axe (chinstroking “issue” drama for the worthy) but yes, the new series of that true classic of the reality genre, ITV’S I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! Due to you-know-what, the annual khaki-clad survival contest can’t be staged in its usual Australian jungle setting. For the first time in 20 series, it’s being held right here in the UK. Specifically in the distinctly non-tropical location of Gwrych Castle on the North Wales coast.

I’ll bask in the warm glow of centrally heated schadenfreude as I watch this year’s hopefuls – a promising line-up rumoured to include Mo Farah, Victoria Derbyshire, Charles Ingram, Ruthie Henshall, Ronnie O’sullivan, Eric Cantona and Kate Middleton’s pal Giovanna Fletcher – arrive at their historic, authentically draughty and allegedly haunted new home.

Here they’ll be fed a meagre basic diet of rice, oats and beans, while tackling the infamous Bushtucker Trials. Rather than witchetty grubs and kangaroos’ unmentionables, they’ll likely be subjected to home-grown horrors instead. Tripe! Trotters! Unappetising parts of sheep! Followed by a fitful night’s sleep on a cold, damp stone floor while things go bump in the night.

Forget King or Queen of the Jungle. This year’s intrepid

C-listers are competing to be crowned King or Queen of the Castle. The prize? A Thermos of hot Bovril and a pair of thermal long johns, presumably. It promises to be appointment viewing as a ragtag selection of publicity-seekers shiver, bicker, whinge and wonder why they didn’t sign up in a normal year.

I know what I’ll be watching on the 15th – and it won’t be stiff upper lips in stately homes or bushysideburned social activism. It It’ll be vaguely famous p people freezing their V VIP extremities off, while Ant and Dec (pictured left) s subject them to v various forms of torture for our vicarious amusement. Now that’s entertainment.