A home run, a slam dunk … PM’S sad tidings are none of these things
As the news about the Pfizer vaccine broke, imagine what must have going on inside Boris Johnson’s head. On the one hand, there must have been a delirious urge to celebrate, to punch the air, to rush out and shriek to a shattered nation that, after a year of unrelieved despair, victory was at last in sight.
But on the other hand there was the obligation not to get carried away.
After all, the vaccine wasn’t officially approved yet, and it would take time to administer, and there wouldn’t be anywhere near enough doses for everyone in the first year, and the public would still be required to follow the rules on masks and social distancing for a good while to come, and …
In short: Mr Johnson found himself in an unusual position. A politician famed for his bullishness, suddenly obliged to preach caution. A politician famed for his extravagant promises, suddenly obliged to temper expectations. A politician famed for his optimism, suddenly obliged to dampen everyone else’s.
At five o’clock he held a news conference in Downing Street. Could he manage to contain his delight? As it turned out, he could. He contained it extremely well. If anything, in fact, he contained it too well. He was trying so hard to manage the public’s expectations that he sounded almost morose.
“I must stress, these are very, very early days,” he murmured, pleadingly.
“We cannot let our enthusiasm tonight run away with us, folks … I’ve been very, very hesitant to get people’s hopes up unnecessarily …”
That last line was striking. He may claim to have been “very, very hesitant” – but this was the man who in summer trumpeted the prospect of “a significant return to normality” by Christmas.
Having seen previous promises come back to bite him, he now seemed frightened to raise hopes at all. As if, just by daring to dream, he might jinx the whole thing.
Even more cautious was the man standing to his right.
“The message is, don’t get overexcited,” begged Jonathan Van-tam, England’s Deputy Chief Medical Officer. “We’ve seen the swallow but this is very much not the summer … It would be a colossal mistake to relax at this point …”
Never mind overexcited – he sounded actively worried, as if he feared that the entire population was about to burst out on to the streets and hold a mass drunken orgy in celebration.
“I just don’t want people to run away with the idea that this development is necessarily a home run, a slam dunk, a shot to the back of the net,” added Mr Johnson, anxiously. “There’s a long way to go, I’m afraid, before we’ve got this thing beat.”
Of course, he was only doing the responsible thing. Still, what a bind. All this year, Mr Johnson has been striving desperately to put a positive spin on bad news.
Last night, he was having to put a negative spin on good news.