Willoughby fails to defrost frozen Strictly knock-off
Dancing on Ice 2024 ITV1 ★★★★★
Anyone expecting Holly Willoughby to address her recent problems upon her TV comeback would have been left disappointed. All eyes were on the troubled 42-year-old as she returned to our screens for the first time since quitting This Morning. Perhaps wisely, given her track record of ridiculed speeches – see that misjudged “Firstly, are you OK?” farrago – Willoughby resumed duties on Dancing on Ice as if nothing had happened.
After two months out of the public eye, she dazzled in a silver gown. As smooth and smiley as ever, she seemed to enjoy herself. It’s a shame it came on such a tame, turgid show barely worth pointing a remote control at, let alone leaving temporary retirement for.
Understandably, Willoughby hinted at nerves ahead of her live TV return. The daytime darling lost credibility during the Phillip Schofield scandal and desperately needed to reconnect with audiences. She did so with a polished performance. After weeks of speculation, Schofield’s replacement was unveiled as the ITV mainstay Stephen Mulhern – an uninspired but safe choice. The pair have been pals since hosting children’s TV together 20 years ago. Mulhern was partial to a painful pun but injected impish energy. Willoughby appeared more relaxed than alongside Schofield.
In the turbulent build-up to this 16th series, several of the show’s longestserving professional skaters departed. Further eyebrows were raised when Willoughby skipped the pre-launch photo call. News emerged that producers had hired a body double for rehearsals. ITV must have been tempted to put this mediocre franchise out of its misery. That’s before we consider the high chance of injury in the notoriously treacherous contest.
Gogglebox’s Stephen Lustig-webb pulled out after breaking his ankle. Love Island’s Amber Davies tore a quad, Emmerdale’s Roxy Shahidi fractured a rib and long-jumper Greg Rutherford feared he’d broken a hip. Ski jumper Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards’ pro partner Tippy Packard fell victim to the injury curse and was replaced by Vicky Ogden. It’s been a sequin-spangled Battle of the Somme.
There must have been sizeable sighs of relief at ITV HQ – not to mention their insurers – that the only pratfalls were those on the training footage. This year’s plucky – or perhaps foolhardy – 12 “celebrities” were the usual mix of faintly familiar faces, soap self-publicists and reality rent-a-names. Six took tentative first steps onto the RAF Bovingdon rink. Coronation Street’s Ryan Thomas, with the fabulously named Amani Fancy, topped the scoreboard with swagger. At the opposite extreme was Bambilike boxer Ricky Hatton, who wobbled as if hit with a haymaker. Pro skater Robin Johnstone resembled his carer, rather than partner.
Head judges Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean, 40 years since their fabled Winter Olympics win, must have wondered what they were watching. Less Bolero, more Mr Bean. Unsurprisingly, Hatton will contest next week’s skate-off. At least he got to playfully punch Mulhern.
With its low-rent casting and tacky trimmings, Dancing On Ice remains the runt of the talent show litter. It’s traditionally timed for January to fill the gap left by autumnal staples Strictly and I’m A Celebrity.
However, viewing figures have fallen like a novice skater from a high of 12 million to below four million last year. One wonders why they still bother. Despite selling itself as “the greatest show on ice”, this was a frozen Strictly knock-off from the Iceland bargain aisle. After her year from hell, it was pleasing to see Willoughby back on TV. The rest of the ropy production? Not so much.