Both leaders know the drill, but clash over dentists lacked dignity

THERE was an ominous foreboding of things to come at the start of PMQS as the first two questions veered dramatically from a two-state solution in Israel-palestine to dentistry in Northampton South.

After announcing that Esther Ghey, mother of the murdered teenager Brianna Ghey, was sitting in the Chamber, Sir Keir Starmer swerved into a reference to the hapless PM’S recent entrapment by Piers Morgan, who had managed to draw Mr Sunak into staking £1,000 on the success of his own asylum policy.

“Isn’t he glad he didn’t bet a grand on it,” chuckled Sir Keir. The Prime Minister responded by belching out an obviously pre-rehearsed line: “He’s so indecisive, the only bet he’d make is an each-way bet.” Next, Sir Keir – perhaps having learnt from Piers Morgan – laid a trap. Having opened with a jokey question about broken promises, he feigned surprise when Mr Sunak listed areas where the Leader of the Opposition had abandoned his commitments – culminating in a jibe about Labour’s various about-turns over their definition of a woman.

Sir Keir put on his very best “not impressed” face as if this wasn’t exactly the reaction he’d been hoping for. “Of all the weeks to say that, with Brianna’s mother in the gallery,” he scowled. “Shame. Parading as a man of integrity.”

As it happened, Esther Ghey hadn’t arrived in time for this exchange. Still, this was a tin-eared blunder from Mr Sunak. So soon after the invoking of a grieving mother, his remarks looked witless, insensitive – showing that same lack of judgment under fire as the taking of Mr Morgan’s bet.

With ghoulish gusto, Sir Keir implied that the Prime Minister was being malicious, rather than simply tactless. None of this exchange was pretty, much of it was crass. But in the end, only one party leader appeared to be using the death of a child for political advantage and it wasn’t Mr Sunak.

After getting his dose of smug hectoring out the way, Sir Keir reached the actual focus of his questions: dentistry. Sir Keir has an anaesthetic quality at the best of times, but only the most shamelessly ambitious Labour MPS could muster a fake laugh as he predictably compared getting answers from Mr Sunak to pulling teeth.

Finally, as with all the worst fever dreams, we ended up back at Piers Morgan. Specifically, SNP spokesman Stephen Flynn brought up the Prime Minister’s bet and accused him of playing games with innocent life. Mr Flynn didn’t resort to soapbox moralising, but simply contrasted Mr Sunak’s bet with cuts to living allowances announced the same day. The Prime Minister blustered and rehashed ancient lines about “seeing policy through”.

Between the outrage and opportunism, this was not a day of much dignity for the House of Commons. If you want that you’re better off going to the dentist.