Carnage in the chamber and Sir Lindsay suffered the most damage

‘There were no winners today – only losers, most notably Lindsay Hoyle and his political career’

“WHERE on earth is the Speaker of the Commons!” thundered SNP spokesman Stephen Flynn, as the Gaza debate reached its frothing conclusion. “And how can we bring him to this House?!”

It is said that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce. In the Commons yesterday, you might say these positions were reversed. For this was a day that began with Sir Chris Bryant filibustering a 10-minute rule Bill on driving regulations, and ended with the Speaker of the House being strong-armed back into the Chamber to prostrate himself before a hissing scrum of MPS, his reputation for impartiality in tatters.

“I apologise to all, and in particular, to the SNP,” pleaded Sir Lindsay Hoyle, looking almost tearful.

Labour’s efforts to ram through their amendment with a mixture of arcane protocol and dark arts had been intended to avoid petty internal fighting but it all blew up spectacularly in Sir Keir Starmer’s (and especially, Hoyle’s) face.

When Sir Chris (though I gather he usually spells it with a ‘t’ at the end) Bryant takes to his feet, there is often a collective sigh. Right before the Gaza debate, the MP for Rhondda was taking his sweet time with some self-centred procedural guff. Nothing unusual there: however, something was afoot. Labour had deployed their bloviating barrage balloon for a reason. These delaying tactics were the first of an array of stalling actions.

Sir Keir had obvious reasons to try to stall the SNP ceasefire debate. After Sir Christ had finished his sermon, Labour called further pointless points of order. While this charade was unfolding, Sir Lindsay Hoyle scampered away, leaving Deputy Speaker Rosie Winterton in charge. She presided over these clearly asinine questions like a well-drilled customer service operative – “your point of order is very important to us”.

Finally, it could be put off no longer. Enter Sir Keir’s knight in shining procedural motions, Sir Lindsay Hoyle. The Speaker, puce-faced, took to his feet and announced his decision. It suddenly became clear where he had been all along: locked in the stationery cupboard while Sir Keir took his lunch money and the Labour whips gave his silken breeches a big wedgie. He would, he announced, be selecting Labour’s amendment to be voted on, thus saving Sir Keir’s blushes. This was positively Bercowian in its wilful gerrymandering, and triggered carnage in the Chamber. Stephen Flynn turned on his heel and stomped off. The SNP were apoplectic as MPS upbraided the Speaker. “Bring back Bercow,” yelled Sir Desmond Swayne.

Barely recovered from Labour’s roughing up, Sir Lindsay received a verbal headbutting from Penny Mordaunt, who announced that the Government would take no further part in the debate, owing to the Speaker’s decision “regrettably” to “insert” himself into Labour’s internal political row over Israel/gaza. Oof. Scores of SNP and Tory MPS stormed out of the Commons, in protest.

However Sir Lindsay was nowhere to be seen – once again poor Rosie Winterton had been left facing the wrath of the Commons – or what was left of it.

Following a barrage of points of order – including Flynn’s volcanic call for his return – the Speaker resurfaced, this time with an apology. “I thought it was the right thing and the best thing and I regret it, and I apologise,” said Sir Lindsay, his voice quaking. He insisted he had only sought to “prevent further division” and protect the security of MPS. This explanation didn’t quite satisfy Flynn, who said that he would take “significant convincing” that Hoyle’s position was “not now intolerable”.

Ready with her trusty can of verbal paraffin, Lucy Powell attempted to calm the situation.

The Shadow Commons Leader, who has something of Van Gogh’s ear for diplomacy, chose now to gloat that Labour’s motion had actually been “passed unanimously” by the Commons. Surely everyone could at least agree on that? This really tipped the Commons over the edge. “Shame!” cried innumerable voices from the SNP and Tory benches. Amid the uproar, the Speaker scuttled off once more. There were no winners today – only losers, most notably Sir Lindsay Hoyle and his political career, but also the dismal sectarian future facing British politics.