Storm Penny sends Labour running for cover
“YESTERDAY was a very difficult day in the House of Commons,” began Lucy “Paraffin” Powell, with the trademark tactful understatement for which she has become renowned.
“We should all reflect on how we got to where we got to,” she urged, flinging yet more fuel onto the fire. The Tories and the SNP, some still hoarse from yesterday, managed whelps of indignation. She assured the House the Speaker always has the best intentions as, to her left, David Linden of the SNP elaborately mimed Sir Lindsay being placed firmly in a pocket.
Marcel Mcmarceau wasn’t the only one not buying Paraffin’s spiel. To suggest yesterday was “anything other than party politics”, said Penny Mordaunt with an Arctic glare, would “do this house a disservice”. Paraffin’s mouth hung open like that of a ventriloquist’s dummy. Wot, us guv?
Storm Penny was not finished. Powell had failed to rise above the needs of “her weak and fickle leader”, the opposition had mistreated the Speaker and shown “nothing is more important than the interests of the Labour Party”.
Labour’s sparse benches tried to act unperturbed: Yvette Cooper fiddled with her phone while Ben Bradshaw sat, arms and legs akimbo as if he were in a Turkish bath. Powell, however, will need a reconstruction by trauma experts. Mordaunt’s real target though, was the absent knight. Her remarks painted a picture of an honest man – the Speaker – strongarmed by dishonest operators. Other MPS came to his defence. Sir Edward Leigh said: “He showed evident contrition, and we should respect that.”
It’s not the first time Tory wrangling provided high drama. After recalling Sir Lindsay’s kindness after the murder of his friend Sir David Amess, Mark Francois said: “We’re very lucky to have him”, referring to the Speaker. Then, turning to the anti-hoylites, William Wragg and Gary Sambrook, he fixed them a stare and asked “aren’t we?” “No!” They both yelped. Debbie Abrahams, Labour MP for Oldham East and Saddleworth, tried Lucy Powell’s strategy of “all-sidesing” the debacle, by saying Wednesday’s events made her ashamed to be an MP. Citing the Nolan principles, she suggested a debate on standards in public life. Nostrils flaring, Mordaunt gave this short shrift. “I wasn’t ashamed to be a Member of Parliament. If I’d been a member of the Labour Party, I’d be ashamed of that.” “What happened yesterday,” she added, “was the procedures of this house were corrupted to advantage one party.”
This triggered hysteria on the opposition bench. “That’s defamatory!” shrieked Powell. Guardian of propriety, Chris Bryant, weighed in only to be smacked down by the Deputy Speaker. “Isn’t the word ‘corruption’ unparliamentary?” he asked. “Er…no,” said Dame Eleanor Laing.
Amidst all this, a handful of members got to the heart of the matter. Allowing our streets to be “dominated by Islamist extremists”, said Robert Jenrick, had left the mother of parliaments “diminished”. Andrew Percy, a Jewish MP, delivered a chilling speech on his fears about the growing normalisation of anti-semitism. On a visit to Israel Percy said he’d felt far safer there than he now does in Britain.
Two reminders that some MPS can still deliver eloquent speeches without notes, and call out a violent antidemocratic mob for what it is.