Westminster is the only no-go zone in our dangerous inner cities

AS I rode into Westminster on the recently named Yasser Arafat line, I wondered if we’d put this nonsense about Islamists taking over Britain behind us?

But no. There’s Sadiq Khan on the BBC website looking sad; Lee Anderson fleeing a microphone; and Paul Scully telling radio listeners that MPS must have a “sensible use of language”, only to offend an entire city by calling “parts of Birmingham” a “no-go area”.

Politician, heal thyself! With sky-high rates of hate crime, theft and sexual molestation, Westminster is a no-go area of its very own, and the better MPS live in terror of the voters.

An arms race of horror stories has begun. Each party claims to be more threatened than the one opposite: “And it’s all your fault!”

Dawn Butler told the House that she required “police support” partly because of Anderson’s remarks. Jonathan Gullis reported that a Tory meeting had been disrupted by protesters.

“Why is it,” said one hack to another, “that the only people who seem to know who their MP is, are lunatics who wish to kill them?”

Consider it a mark of sanity if you couldn’t pick yours out of a line-up (which is a common place to find them).

Back in the Chamber, Yvette Cooper was disgusted: with Anderson, with Sunak, with the state of that carpet, and with Celtic’s disappointing draw against Kilmarnock last weekend.

She looked sick to her stomach as Tom Tugendhat delivered a compelling statement against threats to “our democracy” – then leapt to the Despatch Box, carved into a shape she’s always found offensive, to ask if he has the decency to call Anderson’s remarks Islamophobic?

Tom, who speaks fluent Arabic, would probably love to. But he can’t.

The Tories are keen to distance themselves from MPS who make bigoted remarks, but not from the voters who agree with them – so he merely pointed out that the Tories at least sacked their miscreant quickly, whereas Labour, in Rotherham, dragged its heels.

At this, Yvette looked as if she might actually heave, so revolted was she by the sight of a nice man doing politics.

Between acts in this outrage panto, the SNP filed into the theatre chatting and laughing like kids on a day trip. When Stephen Flynn rose to make a point of order, they dutifully set their faces to “stunned”.

Last week, he said, as if recovering the memory of where he was touched, we put a motion on Gaza in the hope that this House could “speak with one voice” [Labour burst out laughing], but the Speaker scuppered that debate.

He promised us a new one. Will he deliver?

Lindsay Hoyle – who might lose his job because he is simply too honest – said that he doesn’t have to explain his actions, but he will; that he did say they could have another debate, but has since decided they cannot.

“Absolute joke!” cried a Nat; the rest shook their heads in disbelief.

The SNP rose and flounced off, furious that the Parliament they have dedicated their lives to leaving won’t let them have their say.

Watch in wonder as they transform a debate about life and death in Gaza into another reason to vote for independence.

‘Why is it the only people who seem to know who their MP is, are lunatics who wish to kill them?'