Is setting up my own business and starting a family at the same too big a risk too take?
Straight-talking, common sense from the front line of management
QI have a great idea for a business and would love to make a go of it – the only trouble is that my wife and I would also like to start a family. I’m sure there are plenty of people who have done both, but would starting a business be too big a risk to take if we have a little one on the way? That’s not to mention how allconsuming both a baby and a business would be in those crucial early years. Have I missed my chance?
A
You could be at the threshold of two life-changing events so it is right to think things through very carefully.
To hear the voice of first-hand experience, I spoke to a close friend who faced a similar situation 35 years ago, when she started a day nursery within weeks of getting married. On the day the property lease was signed she discovered she was pregnant. In addition her husband ran his own business, which he started just before he proposed.
As we spoke, her mind went back to what life was like when she juggled between the demands of a small baby and dealing with builders, interviewing new staff, persuading parents to sign up and discovering the demands of health, safety and safeguarding. While she wrestled with her problems her husband also had his hands full, but one of them had to bath their baby and both needed a sympathetic ear at the end of every day.
“We had to make sacrifices” was a phrase she repeated several times.
“The decisions we made left us short of time and short of cash. Life was so different from the carefree days when we were free from responsibility. It was hard when we watched our friends burning the candle at both ends, while we had a list of jobs that filled seven days a week.”
I asked what qualities a budding entrepreneur would need to follow in her footsteps. “Energy, determination, enthusiasm and great friends who keep in touch” were the first words that came to her mind, but with a smile she added: “And a truly sympathetic partner who acts as your guru and changes nappies in the middle of the night.”
After three years of seven-day weeks, my friend’s business was making money and growing, as was her family, with a third child on the way. So the sacrifices were paying off, but few great business ideas live up to expectations. If your business idea
turns out to be a failure the pressure on your personal life can go off the scale. So, ideally, start your new business first, to prove it is worth your dedication, before you start a family.
There are almost as many lessons to learn about being an entrepreneur as being a parent. Even if you have a great idea it can be thwarted by running out of cash, taking on unnecessary overheads or putting faith in the wrong recruits. Be honest with yourself – is your dream going to come true or are you continuing to pursue an idea that is already showing some ominous signs.
Every new business needs love, commitment, patience, energy and determination in the early years and your new baby will thrive on the same formula. You will still worry about your children even when they have children of their own, but your support is never more critical than in their earliest years. It is now acknowledged that loving care given to babies makes a massive difference to a child’s development.
You don’t have to choose between developing a business and raising a family, but you do need to judge whether you and your partner have the joint determination to start a family and business in the same year. Life would be a lot easier if you don’t do everything at once.
Plenty of people prove you can both create a great business and raise a happy family, but it can’t be done without a great business idea and it helps to have an amazing partner providing sympathetic advice and moral support.
Good luck to both of you and your future family.