Unrepentant and desperately unfunny Rayner freed from Labour bunker

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday are usually days for contrition, for owning up to things we’ve done wrong.

Not so the Labour Party who chose to use the local election campaign launch, to bring Angela Rayner – unrepentant and still desperately unfunny – out of hiding after the council house flipping debacle.

For eight weeks, Ms Rayner has been kept in a basement at Labour headquarters presumably along with other things embarrassing to Keir Starmer: his actual policies, whoever Brylcreems his hair, and stuff that we’re probably not allowed to print.

Anyway, Angela (“Ange”, to her boss) was back with her most excruciating end-of-career, sorry, end-of-the-pier, routine yet.

Jokes about being ginger, going to bars, getting your round in flew across the stage.

The Prime Minister was described as “the political equivalent of that friend from back home who says he’ll get the first round in if you pay for the taxi, and then when you get to the bar he’s nowhere to be seen”.

It made you hope that the kindly Easter bunny had laced your egg with cyanide by way of release.

Even worse was Sir Keir’s engagement with the matey badinage. Whenever he does this he sounds like an Islington homeowner trying to chummily ask their plumber if he wants a cup of tea.

“Two sugars mate, see the game? I wasn’t looking at your bum!” You get the picture.

There is an element of “prole-face” to it all: Starmer name-checked various neighbouring football teams and “my dad was a toolmaker” received its umpteenth airing. It’s a good job there were no tools at hand

‘The jokes made you hope the kindly Easter bunny had laced your egg with cyanide by way of release’

lest the audience started using them to crudely saw off their own ears.

In terms of real content, this was more motherhood and apple pie fare than anything resembling policy.

He promised that Labour would “relight the fires of renewal” (Deloitte does Take That), “unlock pride” in people’s communities, and work “with councils not against them” – easier said than done, as anyone who has ever tried to appeal a parking ticket will attest.

There was talk of “full-fat” devolution for Britain. More Sturgeons, Khans and Drakefords. Gulp.

A few reporters attempted to probe Sir Keir on Rayner’s tax affairs, following her sudden recall from the Labour bunker. “Angela has answered I don’t know how many questions about this", said Starmer with a smirk. He insisted Rayner’s “legal advice had satisfied him", though he hadn’t actually seen it, and dodged the question of whether she ought to resign if found to be at fault.

Given Rayner’s propensity for demanding the resignations of others, let’s see how long that line holds.

Still, there was one funny thing about the whole charade.

It’s no secret that, beneath the banter, Keir and “Ange” really cannot stand each other.

Alas, we will have to wait for a Labour government to hear the explosive punchline.