Everyone needs to be listened to once in a while
“THANK you for listening,” she said as she left her appointment. Sometimes, often, that’s the only thing I can do for the people I see who are in difficult situations.
We don’t have a magic wand or a wonder pill to make everything better when we meet people struggling with what life throws at them; whether mentally, physically, family or socially.
But we all know when we’ve been well heard and when we’ve been paid proper attention. And it can make all the difference.
Listening is a skill we can
learn and there’s none better at this skill than the Samaritans.
They are available 24/7 to listen to anyone who needs to talk. And so, being canny, they’ve chosen the date of the 24th July (24/7) as their Awareness Day. They’ve called it the Big Listen.
There’s all sorts of events on locally and nationally which you can get involved with and of course, being a charity, they would appreciate some fundraising!
But ultimately we can all do with being heard, especially in these times of disconnected social media and isolation. So how do we learn to listen well?
This is about being active in our listening. It’s a thing we do consciously, not distractedly.
So we need to pay undivided attention to not only hear the words, but the message someone is saying.
This may need some encouragement from us with nodding and smiles and an open body posture. Try not to fold your arms and legs, you’re not being attacked, you’re listening! Gentle noises like yes, uh-huh, and mmm help to show you’re still with someone.
Repeating words and phrases back to people can help to show you are paying attention and may prompt further talk.
When we struggle, it can be hard to get the words out sometimes, or even to know what the words should be. Allow time, be patient, don’t be afraid of gaps or silence. Some people have never been given enough time to say the important stuff. Your silence may be their permission, not your discomfort. So try not to interrupt. And although you may well have an opinion, which you may feel helpful to share, you don’t have to have a solution. Sometimes just an acknowledgement that times are tough is enough. And the offer of another Big Listen if needed.
This is about being active in our listening. It’s a thing we do consciously, not
distracted