‘He was whisked away’
Woman who helps families honour lost babies’ lives
Until the 1990s, bereaved parents of stillborn children were kept in the dark by doctors and midwives over the fate of their lost infants. Georgina, known as Gina, Jacobs was one of those parents. In 1969, her son Robert was stillborn and taken from her before she could see his face. Fifty-three years passed before she located his burial site, revealing not just his fate but the lies told about his body’s disposal.
She has since helped families find the burial site of more than 60 stillborn children and, with the support of parliamentarians, is now calling for a formal government apology for what she and others argue was in effect official policy on stillborn children.
“He was whisked away,” recalls Jacobs from her home in Greasby in Wirral. “I said: ‘Can I see him please?’ They said: ‘No. We find people get over it quicker if they don’t see the baby.’ So I didn’t see him, didn’t hold him, couldn’t name him. It’s like the memory of that face has been stolen from us.”
Her son was handed to her late husband, Jimmy, in a cardboard box and he was told to take him on the bus to Landican cemetery, where he would be buried in the same grave with whoever else was being buried that day.
“That was an outrageous lie because they knew for a fact it wasn’t going to go in with anyone buried that day,” Jacobs says.
In 2022, Jacobs saw a TV report about stillborn burials and decided to seek out Robert’s resting place. When she arrived at Landican cemetery – which she praised for being so helpful and understanding – she was taken aback by what she was told. “I was told he’s in with 63 other babies,” she says. “I said: ‘No disrespect, but that can’t be right. He’s in with someone buried that day.’ And I was told: ‘Oh, they told everybody that.’”
Up until the 1990s, it was assumed that if a parent saw their stillborn baby and established any kind of connection it would only deepen their grief.
Now parents of stillborn babies are able to be as involved in decisions about what happens to their baby as they choose to be.
Regulations were introduced in 2016 to ensure that parents’ wishes for the cremation of their children are respected. The regulations included a new statutory definition of what constitutes ashes or remains, and require cremation request forms to be amended so that families’ wishes are explicitly recorded before a cremation.
One bereaved woman told Jacobs a consultant had told her: “Plenty more where they come from.”
Jacobs said her generation had accepted professional decisions without question, but the toll was huge. “Emotionally it was horrific, I cried and cried for months.”
After sharing her experience on a private Facebook group, she connected with families of more than 60 stillborn children in the Birkenhead area and helped them find burial sites. “It’s been really joyful. I mean, just to say those words ‘your baby has been found’. It’s the most amazing thing.”
‘It’s been joyful. Just to say those words “your baby has been found”. It’s amazing’
Gina Jacobs on locating stillborn babies’ graves
In some cases, it has been a challenge but Jacobs remains modest about her efforts. “Without the help of the staff I probably couldn’t have done the detective work on my own. It was aim was for people to have a place to visit.”
Over the past 20 years, mass graves containing the remains of stillborn babies have been discovered in Lancashire, Devon, Middlesbrough and Huddersfield.
Bodies were added to Jacobs’ baby’s mass grave for at least 18 months from September 1968. It was 3 metres (10ft) deep. There was no plaque or headstone or marker.
Jacobs believes the sites she has found around the Birkenhead area are the tip of the iceberg and there must be thousands of babies buried in unmarked graves across the country. “I can’t forgive them for the lie they told that stopped us seeing our babies,” she says.
She has the backing of Margaret Greenwood, the Labour MP for Wirral West, who demanded an apology from Rishi Sunak at prime minister’s questions. While he expressed sympathy and sorrow, he stopped short of apologising.
“I raised Georgina’s case in parliament because I felt it important that she receive national recognition for the comfort that she has brought to so many,” the MP said. “Georgina has told me that an apology from government would help her and so I do feel it is appropriate that the government should do that. I am sure it would help many other families too.”
She added: “No one should have to mourn the loss of a baby for decades without knowing where their baby is.”
Jacobs, who continues to reunite families with resting places as she approaches her 80th birthday, agrees. “It’s nothing to do with compensation or money. Somebody should say we are sorry you were lied to about where your baby was going to be placed – or your sibling – and sorry you weren’t allowed to see that baby’s face.”
The Department of Health and Social Care has been approached for comment.