Jezza cracks jokes with the best of them as Dave attempts to take shelter from tax storm

THE word “dominatrix” passed no-one’s lips. There was not even a Carry On-style double entendre offered up by a cheeky comrade as Culture Secretary John Whittingdale’s unfortunate ooh-er-missus liaison with a prostitute dominated the headlines.

Instead, Jezza, who never likes to make politics personal, sought to tap into Tory turmoil on tax and the “scandalous situation” exposed by the Panama Papers.

As the chief comrade sought to embarrass Dave over how Tory MEPs had failed to back a bid to get companies to register tax information across Europe, the PM puffed out his chest and insisted the Conservative Government had done far more to crack down on tax dodgers than governments under Tony Blair or Gordon Brown ever did. So there.

After the Labour leader pondered why the Tory toff was bragging so much about a tax crackdown when his Government had cut HMRC staff numbers, the shiny-haired premier rose to quip: “I’m glad he wants to get on to our responsibilities to pay our taxes; that’s very important. His tax return was a metaphor for Labour policy; it was late, it was chaotic, it was inaccurate and it was uncosted.”

As Tory MPs giggled, Labour eyes rolled. After the PM insisted there was more tax being collected by the HMRC, Jezza did something he has never done at PMQs; he cracked a joke – and not a bad one at that.

“I’m grateful to the Prime Minister for drawing attention to my own tax return, warts and all; the warts being my handwriting, the all being my generous donation to HMRC.

“I actually paid more tax than some companies owned by people he might know quite well.” Labour hoots followed.

However, the sharpest point made on tax came from SNP champion Angus Robertson, who noted how there were 10 times more Whitehall staff employed to crack down on benefit fraud than there were on cracking down on super-rich tax dodgers. This earned him a pat on the back from a Nationalist colleague.