THE TEN­NER BET

The Herald - Herald Sport - - FINAL SAY - JAMES MOR­GAN / Fax /

THEY say all good things must come to an end. No-one ever seems to men­tion the bad things but pre­sum­ably they ab­so­lutely must come to an end, too. In fact prob­a­bly more so. Which raises the ques­tion about why some bad things don’t come to an end and, of course, good things do. Any­way, this is the end for the Ten­ner Bet and it is with a heavy heart that I pre­pare to bid you farewell.

But be­fore the vale­dic­to­ries be­gin, a re­flec­tion: there have been dal­liances with all kinds of snake oil sys­tems, an un­healthy ob­ses­sion with French foot­ball (twice) and a year spent bet­ting in­ter­mit­tently on For­mula One grands prix. The last at least yielded con­sec­u­tive re­turns in five races be­fore the me­chan­ics ripped the en­gines apart and tossed them into a crowd of Bahraini pro­tes­tors. Hon­estly, the length that some book­mak­ers will go to to safe­guard them­selves against losses.

Yes, this col­umn has been the fluff in Hugh MacDon­ald’s belly but­ton for the past six years but it has also been in profit on four oc­ca­sions. Par­tic­u­lar win­ners that stand out are Floyd May­weather’s 10th-round stop­page against Ricky Hat­ton in the MGM Grand in 2007. From mem­ory a rounds 9-11 win for the Amer­i­can paid 12/1, the same price as Red Bull’s Mark Web­ster when he won the Bri­tish Grand Prix in 2012, while Pineau Du Re’s 25/1 vic­tory in the Grand Na­tional a cou­ple of weeks back was par­tic­u­larly pleas­ing.

How­ever, the one st­ing that pro­duced the great­est sat­is­fac­tion was Ernie Els win­ning the Open two years ago for a £300 pay­out that turned a hitherto los­ing sea­son into the most

Pic­tures pub­lished in Herald Sport are for sale www. 200 Ren­field Street, Glas­gow G2 3QB. email: sportlet­ters@the­herald.co.uk (please in­clude ad­dress). Tel 0141 302 7148-7157 0141 302 7227 Sports edi­tor Don­ald Cowey / Deputy sports edi­tor James Mor­gan / As­sis­tant sports edi­tor Gor­don Steven­son

To email any of our jour­nal­ists: name.name@her­al­dand­times.co.uk

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prof­itable of my time in situ. Fear not, though, there will still be a se­lec­tion next week and one af­ter that and yet more. The Ten­ner Bet is mov­ing to a new home and from next Fri­day can be found at for the fore­see­able fu­ture and so, de­spite the ap­par­ent fu­til­ity of mak­ing a se­lec­tion on these pages this week, you’re get­ting one any­way . . .

THE BET

Ap­par­ently some­one called David Moyes was sacked by Manch­ester United dur­ing the week. The Ten­ner Bet didn’t no­tice since he was too busy rock­ing him­self back­wards and for­wards, fully clothed in a shower fol­low­ing the Ir­ish Grand Na­tional. “Shut­the­effin­front­door,” I shouted to Mrs Ten­ner Bet as Jonjo O’Neill’s horse crossed the line. “It’seffin­closed,” came the re­ply. “Eh?” I coun­tered. “The­effin­front­doorisclosed,” she screamed by which point Wee Fiver was run­ning all his words to­gether, too. “Stop­shout­ingI’mtry­ingtofind­a­hor­seinthis field­thathasn’tbeen­spelled­in­cor­rect­ly­orisn’tall run­to­gether,” he wailed.

That did the trick, we looked at each other, laughed at our silli­ness and gave Wee Fiver a cud­dle. “It’s okay, we’ll still sur­vive now the Ten­ner Bet has to sign on the dole ev­ery week,” I re­as­sured him. “You mean I won’t have to keep pick­ing out bets?” he asked en­thu­si­as­ti­cally. “Erm, well maybe just for this week,” I added.

To which he said: “Okay, lump on Chelsea. Mour­inho’s bluff­ing, he won’t stick out a re­serve side. There’s no way he just gives up on tro­phies and I don’t think Liver­pool know how to play for a draw. . .” He might just be on to some­thing.

SE­LEC­TION

Chelsea to beat Liver­pool is 4/1 with Lad­brokes who are of­fer­ing money back if the match ends in a draw. Liver­pool like to counter, Chelsea like to sit in. Ex­pect an­other bus-shaped for­ma­tion from Mour­inho.

SEA­SON’S TO­TAL

One non-run­ner last weekend meant the to­tal li­a­bil­ity was £20 and that leaves prof­its for the Ten­ner Bet at £31.72. Bye for now . . .

sport@the­herald.co.uk

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