WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO ...

SANDIE ROBERTSON, 38, SHOWJUMPER

WHEN I hit the ground I remember the almighty ringing sound. Then I realised the noise was me trying to breathe. The ambulance crew said the important thing with spinal fractures is the sooner they get to them and immobilise them the better the chance of recovery. I thought, “That’s a strange thing to be talking about. Who’s broken their back?” I was so consumed by the pain that I wasn’t thinking clearly, but you never think you’ve broken your back because you don’t know what it feels like.

The night before the showjumping show my friend and I went to get her lorry and it started snowing. Her mum phoned us and said she didn’t think we should go.

I realised I had forgotten my hat, which was the best thing I have ever done because my friend had been given a riding hat for Christmas which was a new style that had a titanium strip over the centre where all the standard ones were just velvet. She let me borrow it. That was what saved my life.

When I walked the track there was a fence I felt could cause us a problem because it didn’t give much room in the corner – there has to be room for you to get your stride right.

When we came into the arena my horse did what I thought he would do. There was no way to jump it so he stopped, but being a foal he decided there was a jump in front of him and he had to jump it. So he cat-jumped from a standstill, which propelled me straight up in the air. I came down on my head like an arrow.

When I was in the air I remember thinking, “Why can’t I feel my saddle?” I remember my right hand trying desperately to grab on to something. I had no concept that I was upside down.

I was in A&E for six hours. I was strapped down and couldn’t move, couldn’t feel my legs. The doctor pulled open the curtain and said, “You are broken here, here, here and here. Do not move.”

I was immobilised for two days. I was in hospital for another 10 days in a body cast, then I was sent home for bed rest for about five months.

I’ll never forget coming home in the back of my stepdad’s Volvo and being taken into my bedroom. Mum had left the windows open. I will never forget the smell of the fresh air.

I was so full of painkillers that I didn’t realise how bad it was. The

specialist said I would never ride again, and I’d be lucky to walk again. But I never doubted I’d walk and ride. I sat on a horse a year to the day after I started recovery, but it was about 18 months before I rode again.

I don’t have discs where the fracture happened and have arthritis, but the more I ride the better it is because it keeps my core strong.

I’d like to get back out competing to a level I’m happy with, much to the terror of my mother. Life coach Sandie Robertson blogs on heraldscotland.com