SEVEN-DAY TV GUIDE AND ALISON ROWAT’S TV REVIEW

NAPOLEON would be lost in Britain today. The country dubbed a nation of shopkeepers by Boney has morphed, courtesy of The X-Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, and their ilk, into a land of power balladeers. Saturday night TV has been taken over by these Whitney wannabes, so it came as no surprise to find Pitch Battle (BBC1, Saturday, 7.30pm) rocking up in the schedules.

Ah, but this is different, or at least that is what the Beeb would have you think. Inspired by the movie Pitch Perfect, a musical comedy about competing singing groups, Pitch Battle has that nice Gareth Malone from The Choir as one of the judges. He is joined by Kelis, an American singer famous for the song Milkshake (tell me, why does her milkshake bring all the boys to the yard? Are they environmental health inspectors concerned that strict production guidelines are being observed?). The third judge is supposed to be a big shot celebrity. This week it was Will Young.

Hosted by the Mel half of Mel and Sue with fewer double entendres, this “choral combat” was essentially the Great British Shout Off stretched out over an hour and a half. Pass the headache tablets, mother.

Over on Channel 5, an old Saturday night regular was making a comeback. Blind Date (Channel 5, Saturday, 7pm) is now hosted by Paul O’Grady, our Cilla having gone to join the choir invisible. In an age of internet dating and Tinder, one wondered what a programme that last aired 14 years ago could possibly bring to the party. The answer: apart from O’Grady and his sly Scouse wit (which was, at times, a bit ripe for family viewing), not a lot. The lads and lassies still gave corny answers to daft questions, but this time round their ranks included “a sales manager for a professional services association” (he worked for a firm of lawyers), and a “carpenter and part-time model”. Whatever happened to accountants and teachers? As for the prize dates, do have a rummage down the sofa cushions for some more money, Channel 5. A day of ping pong: really? Not much chance of any magic happening there.

There was not much love in the air in Theresa v Boris: How May Became PM (BBC2, Sunday, 9pm). A drama documentary about the collective

Hosted by the Mel half of Mel and Sue with fewer double entendres, Pitch Battle was essentially the Great British Shout Off stretched out over an hour and a half. Pass the headache tablets, mother