And they call it pup-pet love

Good week, bad week By Susan Swarbrick

It’s been a good week for … pets

TELEVISION presenter Noel Edmonds has unveiled details of a mind-boggling new business venture: a motivational phone service for pets and a radio station for plants.

Edmonds, perhaps hoping to avoid twiddling his thumbs following Channel 4’s recent decision to axe game show Deal Or No Deal after 11 years on air, claimed last week he had been inundated with requests from pet owners since the kooky plan was announced.

The idea will reportedly see Edmonds ring up the animals to dispense advice. Quite what these pep talks will entail is less clear.

Will it teach cats to become more assertive mousers? Provide memory tips for goldfish? Encourage hamsters to pound that wheel in order to achieve their dream bod?

Perhaps it’s just a clever way to repurpose the now defunct famed black phone from Deal Or No Deal?

Edmonds aims to have 100 niche radio stations by next year, including a bird song channel and another called Positively Plants, which plays music he believes will get gardens blooming.

One can only imagine what other gems he has up his sleeve: a helpline for overworked kitchen appliances? Perhaps a counselling service for forgotten toys? His old pal Mr Blobby’s greatest hits played on a loop to deter burglars? Actually, that one may work ...

It’s been a bad week for … puppet romance

Revelations have emerged of a “sexing up” row over plans to introduce a female puppet to the Sooty children’s TV show in the 1960s.

A new documentary, Sooty Ungloved – which had its world premiere in Yorkshire last night – tells how Sooty creator Harry Corbett’s suggestion that the beloved yellow bear should have a girlfriend was vetoed by the show’s producer and a BBC governor.

It caused a moral panic, with fears it would “introduce sex into a children’s programme”.

Only when the then BBC director general, Sir Hugh Carleton Greene, stepped in was panda Soo’s introduction allowed, saving poor old Sooty from a lonely life of enforced bachelorhood.

He ruled that Sooty could have a female companion – “but they must never touch”. Which puts a new spin on the phrase: no glove, no love …