What we have to do to protect our children from the horror of paedophilia

DO you know any paedophiles? Chances are you may well do. According to recent statistics, the number of individuals viewing child pornography online is in excess of half a million in the UK and reports of child abuse have risen by 80 per cent over the last three years. Chief Constable Simon Bailey of the National Police Chiefs’ Council is a leading police expert in child abuse. He says the police are struggling to cope with the 400 arrests made each month for the viewing of indecent images of children. To deal with the problem, he has proposed that paedophiles looking at “low-level” images online should not be jailed, but instead put on the sex offenders register, then managed and rehabilitated in the community. Scotland’s Chief Constable Phil Gormley appeared to echo his comments, saying: “Unless you are going to go on an industrial prison-building regime ... you need to focus your effort on people who are going to cause physical harm to children or are most likely to become contact abusers.” Paedophilia is abhorrent. It’s also classified as a mental-health disorder. Most of us don’t want to think about it because when we do, we somehow feel contaminated. Like radioactive waste, we want it to be exported, preferably at dead of night, to some colossus of a rubbish dump on a Gulag that’s tailor-made for perverts. Because of its secretive and shameful nature, we don’t even know how many paedophiles there are in the UK, but it’s generally accepted that they represent at least between one-two per cent of the male population. Even less is known about female paedophiles, but they are estimated to represent a very small fraction in comparison to males and are responsible for about five per cent of child abuse in the UK (with male paedophiles being responsible for around 20 per cent of child sexual abuse). Not all paedophiles act on their impulses by molesting children, and not all child molesters are paedophiles. Why people sexually abuse children is extremely complex. Around 50 per cent of abusers have themselves been abused as children. Professionals working in the field of treatment, punishment and prevention cannot agree on the root causes – some believe paedophilia is a sexual orientation (which cannot, therefore, be changed); others believe it to be the result of dysfunctional relationships with carers who have breached sexual boundaries when the paedophile was himself a child (thus sowing the seeds of personality disorder). There is also a hypothesis that paedophilia is biological and that the brains of paedophiles are differently wired, making them more attracted to the faces of children.

Part of the problem is that paedophiles, especially “exclusive paedophiles” (those who repeatedly and compulsively act on, or attempt to act on, their sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children under the age of 12), cannot be cured. The condition can, to some extent, be treated through psychotherapy and the risk can be managed, but it is rare for paedophiles to change their sexual preferences. On the whole, chemical castration does not work. They don’t engage in intimate, adult relationships and many of them claim they are totally unaware, or deny, the very real and enduring psychological harm they cause to the children they abuse. Paedophiles seldom seek help for their disorder because they don’t have insight into their own condition or see it as a problem. Their only problem is how not to be found out while they pursue their perversions. They are adept and highly skilled at grooming – not just children, but those who care for them. Paedophiles choose their victims carefully. They target children who are vulnerable or who feel neglected due to family breakdown or crisis. Often, they will choose careers that bring them into close proximity with children – they are coaches, clergy, teachers, volunteers. They befriend single mothers who feel stressed, isolated and unsupported. They will impress adults and children with their kindness, listening skills and dedication. Online, they are expert predators and, according to research, know within minutes, whether a child is suitable for grooming.

The more we turn our backs on paedophiles and the issue of paedophilia, the more vulnerable children become. If we simply consign them to the category of “monster”, not one of us, we will fail to identify them, making it easier for them to molest and prey on children. The best defence against paedophiles is to love and respect our children. By modelling good love and appropriate boundaries in our relationship with them, we give children an internal barometer that can detect the difference between safe love and attention, and the dangerous, fake “love” offered by paedophiles.