THE DIARY

“I SEE the Orange Hall in Airdrie has solar panels on the roof,” says reader Andy Bollen.

“It’s good to see them go green.”

IT seems a few folk are agitated about the trendy American foodstore Whole Foods in Giffnock announcing its closure – more than 1,500 people have signed an online petition opposing the shutdown. Pity they didn’t use it a bit more often. Anyway it reminds us of the story, which we listed under apocryphal, summing up the store’s perceived pretentiousness. It was the customer at the Whole Foods checkout who declared: “I need to read the numbers on the barcode out to you – I don’t want any lasers touching my food.”

WE read that it is Anti-Bullying Week. A reader in Patrick tells us: “The guy who bullied me in secondary school is still taking my lunch money.

“But to be fair to him, he does give me a pretty big pizza slice in Greggs.”

BUS stories continued. Says Mary Duncan: “One morning on my way to work there was a passenger singing like a linty, happily drunk. He got off the bus just before me, and when I moved to the front I said to the driver, ‘How can someone be that drunk at eight in the morning?’ The driver’s reply, ‘Just lucky, I guess’.”

AS if Theresa May hasn’t got her troubles to seek, there is continued press speculation that Brexit Minister David Davis could replace her as prime minister. Reader Foster Evans is flicking through an old published diary of the late political sketch writer Simon Hoggart who listened to a speech by David Davis on Europe, and then wrote: “David Davis is to speechmaking what Edward Scissorhands was to balloon animals.”

Cliff Godley sees the name of this moisturiser and wonders if he has to phone the Samaritans or the police.