Slap to the future

There’s no place for ‘hoverboards’ on public footpaths

The foes one faces when walking on a city pavement need little introduction. There are the rushers, who brush past at a clip, knocking you with a briefcase. The curbstone-crawling drivers, who spray through each and every puddle they see. Not to mention the joggers, the chuggers, the straightforward muggers and the great mass of humanity that pours out on to the streets – elbows sharpened – just as you have started to drag your tired feet home from work.

Today, though, all may share a smile. Nothing brings urban-dwellers together like a common enemy, and one has been provided, in recent months, by the “hoverboard” users, who have taken to whirring their gizmos through richer parts of the United Kingdom, a look of nonchalance on their faces, as those confined to perambulating on two feet stop and stare.

The first crime the so-called hoverboard commits, of course, is one of nomenclature: neither do they hover, nor are they much of a board – more a plank set between two oversized wheels. The second is a crime against style. Rarely has Homo sapiens looked less deserving of that title than when stood upright, hands out for balance, propelled at up to 12mph on a £200 board with flashing neon tail-lights.

Yet most important, according to the Metropolitan Police, is the third crime – a violation of the 1835 Highway Act that prohibits the driving of any vehicle “on the footway”. A tweet from the police made clear that it is, in fact, an offence against the law, as well as common sense, to follow Justin Bieber’s example and roll down pavements or roads on what the authorities have judiciously deemed a “selfdriving scooter”. Quite right. Police censure should now more regularly follow the whispered scoffing of footsore pedestrians. By all means let hoverboard owners use these gadgets on private land, but the rest of us have places to get to, and could do without being run over by an electronically powered plank.