Hola Spurs, I am open to of­fers

Colom­bia’s Jewish man­ager bids farewell to the Mon­dial, and looks for­ward to some ex­cit­ing ca­reer op­por­tu­ni­ties DIARY

The Jewish Chronicle - - NEWS - JOSÉ PEK­ER­MAN

HOLA MIS ami­gos in­gle­ses,

Well, it has only been a few weeks but ev­ery­thing has changed. My voice has now been heard from Gold­ers Green to Radlett, from Sale to Gateshead. I feel that if the fut­bol does not go well in the fu­ture, I have a job as a pun­dito in the JC’s sports page to look for­ward to.

How­ever, for now I do not need to stand on the touch­line watch­ing the Mac­cabi League be­cause our pres­i­dente, Juan Manuel San­tos, has asked the Columbia fed­eración to keep me on as coach of the na­tional team.

Para mi, I need to take some time off to hang out at the shul in Buenos Aires with mis Yid­dishe com­padres, drink some sch­napps and nib­ble on a kichel. But some­how I think we will go for­ward to­gether to com­pete for the Copa Amer­ica in two years.

But I do not rule out at some time in the fu­ture, a job in the Pre­mier Liga in your beau­ti­ful coun­try. The ob­vi­ous des­ti­na­tion would of course be Tot­ten­ham Hot­spur. Would­bea­good ap­point­ment for ev­ery­one. Tot­ten­ham is run by Yid­dishes I hear and they like Ar­gen­tini­ans — af­ter all they have just ap­pointed my com­padre Mauri­cio Po­chet­tino. With the Spurs’ re­cent record of sack­ing man­agers my es­ti­mación is that there will be a va­can­cy­round­aboutChanu­cah. Daniel Levy can con­tact me on Face­book if he want. I al­ways lis­ten to rea­son­able of­fers. I con­grat­u­late Brazil, who beat us in the quar­ter­fi­nals. They played a beau­ti­ful game — if your idea of beauty is to hack away at our best player James Ro­driguez like a lum­ber­jack. It looked like their boss Big Phil So­lari took out a con­tract on our man. I don’t like schaden­freude but is muy bien that Ger­many sorted them out.

Shame about the in­jury to Ney­mar — he seems like a good boy and is not bueno that at the mo­ment he hob­bles around like an alte kake. But I am sure he will soon be up on his feet and do­ing the silly samba cel­e­bración again.

So Brazil scored two lucky gols and then hang on to the end like des­per­a­dos. As for us, Los Cafeteros, we now have plenty of time to make cof­fee and watch the end of the Mon­dial.

Youwill­know­by­thetimey­ouread this who has got to the fi­nal but per­sonal­menteIhopethatAr­genti­na­makes it so that the coun­try of my birth will showBrazil­howthegameshouldbe played. Give the ball to Messi and hope some­thing hap­pens — is tac­ti­cal ge­nius from the coach Ale­jan­dro Sa­bella.

So, my friends, like the pro­tag­o­nist of a novel by Gabriel Gar­cia Mar­quez, we come to the end of our story in a full cir­cle with many twists and a cou­ple of turns (by James Ro­driguez) plus many gols.

I, in my hum­ble, mod­est way, have trans­formed the game played by Colom­bia to make jour­ney­men pro­fes­sion­als into the hom­bres es­pec­tac­u­lares. Ev­ery­one love the colour of amar­illo, ev­ery­one kind to Pek­er­man. I can go back home with­out fear of drug barons with big guns, and maybe in four years time we meet again, no?

Hasta luego y vamos Colom­bia.

As imag­ined by Si­mon Round


Daniel Levy: in­ter­ested?

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