Hola Spurs, I am open to offers
Colombia’s Jewish manager bids farewell to the Mondial, and looks forward to some exciting career opportunities DIARY
HOLA MIS amigos ingleses,
Well, it has only been a few weeks but everything has changed. My voice has now been heard from Golders Green to Radlett, from Sale to Gateshead. I feel that if the futbol does not go well in the future, I have a job as a pundito in the JC’s sports page to look forward to.
However, for now I do not need to stand on the touchline watching the Maccabi League because our presidente, Juan Manuel Santos, has asked the Columbia federación to keep me on as coach of the national team.
Para mi, I need to take some time off to hang out at the shul in Buenos Aires with mis Yiddishe compadres, drink some schnapps and nibble on a kichel. But somehow I think we will go forward together to compete for the Copa America in two years.
But I do not rule out at some time in the future, a job in the Premier Liga in your beautiful country. The obvious destination would of course be Tottenham Hotspur. Wouldbeagood appointment for everyone. Tottenham is run by Yiddishes I hear and they like Argentinians — after all they have just appointed my compadre Mauricio Pochettino. With the Spurs’ recent record of sacking managers my estimación is that there will be a vacancyroundaboutChanucah. Daniel Levy can contact me on Facebook if he want. I always listen to reasonable offers. I congratulate Brazil, who beat us in the quarterfinals. They played a beautiful game — if your idea of beauty is to hack away at our best player James Rodriguez like a lumberjack. It looked like their boss Big Phil Solari took out a contract on our man. I don’t like schadenfreude but is muy bien that Germany sorted them out.
Shame about the injury to Neymar — he seems like a good boy and is not bueno that at the moment he hobbles around like an alte kake. But I am sure he will soon be up on his feet and doing the silly samba celebración again.
So Brazil scored two lucky gols and then hang on to the end like desperados. As for us, Los Cafeteros, we now have plenty of time to make coffee and watch the end of the Mondial.
Youwillknowbythetimeyouread this who has got to the final but personalmenteIhopethatArgentinamakes it so that the country of my birth will showBrazilhowthegameshouldbe played. Give the ball to Messi and hope something happens — is tactical genius from the coach Alejandro Sabella.
So, my friends, like the protagonist of a novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, we come to the end of our story in a full circle with many twists and a couple of turns (by James Rodriguez) plus many gols.
I, in my humble, modest way, have transformed the game played by Colombia to make journeymen professionals into the hombres espectaculares. Everyone love the colour of amarillo, everyone kind to Pekerman. I can go back home without fear of drug barons with big guns, and maybe in four years time we meet again, no?
Hasta luego y vamos Colombia.
As imagined by Simon Round
Daniel Levy: interested?