Provide hope as to mum’s death
found very hard to begin with and they sound very trivial. But I could not watch TV after Rosie died, because we did that together. “We would watch or
and I could not bring myself to watch them anymore.
“I used to do a lot of cooking but it is hard to cook for one when you’ve cooked for two for 12 years.”
Despite the help of a nanny, who had been with the couple since before Rosie died, he has been overwhelmed by chores which were once evenly split between the pair.
He says: “We had a partnership with an equal division of labour. Now I’m doing everything. The first few months and year has been challenging but you do just have to get on with it.”
Mr Choueka often has to “think about what Rosie would do,” especially when it comes to making decisions about the children’s education.
“My son is deaf and he has a statement of special needs and I’ve had to take on the bureaucracy around that. Rosie was very good at dealing with that because she was a lawyer. Joey wanted to join the chess club recently but he was also at the same time going to a counsellor. I could imagine Rosie saying ‘give him a chance, it is not going to do him any harm’. And she would be right — they are still children at the end of the day and they should have their childhood.” His wife was also “explicit” in insisting he does not spend the rest of his life alone.
“Eventually she wanted me to find a partner and remarry. She was very clear about that. She really was an amazing woman.”
Mr Choueka hopes the charity might be able to offer advice to fathers who have lost their partners, as he has noticed a lack of support is available for others in his situation.
“I have met men who have been through it themselves and they have offered me support and advice.
“And since then I have done the same for people who have contacted me. But it has happened organically — there isn’t anywhere we can go.” www.secondary1st.org.uk
I found it very hard. I could not watch TV after Rosie died, because we did that together’