Feeling left out at the baby blessing

I attended Clayhall Shul with my eight-month old daughter to join the baby blessing ceremony taking place. My husband, unfortunately, was unable to attend.

When it was time for the blessing to take place I carried my daughter onto the with the rest of the participants.

The Rabbi refused to start the ceremony with me holding my daughter insisting that a man hold her as, being a woman, I wasn’t allowed on the

during the ceremony. My daughter was placed in a stranger’s arms and as you can imagine this made her quite distressed. I, in turn was very disappointed that I was unable to hold my daughter during the blessing as this was the main reason we had come.

I felt humiliated when the service was stopped until I had passed my daughter to one of the male members of the congregation and had moved two metres away from where the blessing was taking place.

As far as I am aware the baby blessing is not an official part of the service and I see no reason and no explanation as to why halachically I was not allowed to hold my own daughter during this blessing.

Clayhall is unfortunately a community with few younger members and this incident means that I will now no longer be returning to shul again as I was made to feel so unwelcome.

We live in times in which our need to embrace the younger community members is integral to the longevity of our synagogues, and this only reiterates the detachment from reality that some communities seem to have. It is driving members away and I feel very sad that a shul I have been an active participant of for so many years has lost touch with those people who are key to its survival. Amie Stuart