Fashion victims are ill suited and booted out

LORD SUGAR is many things, but a fashionista isn’t one of them. While always smartly suited — the same goes for his eyes and ears, Claude Littner and Karren Brady— the look is more corporate than catwalk.

Nevertheless, this week’s Apprentice saw a task in which he designated himself the fashion police, declaring to the losing team that it had been “the Frocky Horror show”.

For the candidates themselves, whose signature style tends towards nothing more adventurous than boardroom automaton, the task was to choose a designer, arrange a magazine shoot and flog the clothing following a catwalk show. Naturally, they made a clothing catalogue of errors.

Joanna took the helm for Graphene, backed up by Michaela, Elizabeth and James. She did appear to have a good grasp of things as they sought to market a men’s fashion line that looked suspiciously similar to the Eilat trousers on sale in shuks across Israel.

The vapid James found his calling as a male model, pouting moodily on the catwalk as if he was born to do it. At least there’s a future for him when he eventually gets sacked by Lord Sugar.

It was Michaela who was the loose cannon — trying to sell the designs as if she was a market trader hawking bananas.

“I do believe that her aggressive stance might have put off some people,” tutted Claude.

Luckily for Michaela, Team Vitality, led by Jade, got it very, very wrong, handing Graphene a clear victory.

Jade was well outside her comfort zone — among other disasters, she managed the designer’s brand name in the marketing. Harrison, who decided his being male virtually excluded him from contributing anything useful to the task, spent most of the time rearranging the seats at the fashion show (deck-chairs, Titanic, yada yada yada).

In the boardroom Lord Sugar, Claude and Karren were unsparing.

Harrison was castigated for being his own “one-man fan club” while Jade was to not be “the whole package”.

Harrison was the first to walk the plank; but Lord Sugar was in a sour mood, and Jade was a surprise second casualty.

Chutzpah of the week: James for his air of reluctance when offered his David Gandy moment — he absolutely loved it.

Lord Sugar isn’t a fashionista but he designated himself the fashion police’