GWYNETH AD­VICE FOR MAR­RY­ING IN

Gwyneth Pal­trow is get­ting mar­ried again. Rosa Do­herty sends her con­grat­u­la­tions

The Jewish Chronicle - - FRONT PAGE -

I’VE JUST heard your news, Mazel­tov! It has come as no sur­prise to me that you have found love again, this time with a man who ap­pears to be a to­tal men­sch.

I had no doubt when you an­nounced your di­vorce to Chris Martin in 2011 that you are a woman who knows that love and fam­ily are more im­por­tant than hate and bit­ter­ness.

She will bounce back, no prob­lem, I thought.

While oth­ers scoffed at your no­tion of “con­sciously un­cou­pling” I to­tally got it.

My par­ents split when I was young. I en­dured the an­guish over which night of the week I stayed where, and hated it when at 7am I’d re­alise my favourite jumper was at the wrong house.

I will for­ever be grate­ful to my par­ents who tried to main­tain a healthy re­la­tion­ship for the sake of their chil­dren, as you have for your kids, Ap­ple and Moses. It’s not easy. Ad­mit­tedly, they didn’t al­ways get it right, but the hol­i­days we en­joyed to­gether ev­ery year af­ter their split pro­vided us with as nor­mal a fam­ily life as you can have when your par­ents are not to­gether. If ‘con­scious un­cou­pling’ had ex­isted then, maybe I’d have been less con­fused about why dad didn’t live with us but came round for din­ner ev­ery night.

And now you, the daugh­ter of a rabbi’s son and fol­lower of

Kabba- lah, are go­ing to marry Jewish tele­vi­sion writer and pro­ducer Brad Falchuk.

It was meant to be. On an­nounc­ing your en­gage­ment in the lat­est edi­tion of your life­style mag­a­zine, Goop, you said: “I have tried to ac­cept how com­plex ro­man­tic love can be.” OMG Right?!

You went on: “I have de­cided to give it [mar­riage] a go again, not only be­cause I be­lieve I have found the man I was meant to be with, but be­cause I have ac­cepted the soul-stretch­ing, pat­tern-break­ing op­por­tu­ni­ties that [ter­ri­fy­ingly] are made pos­si­ble by in­ti­macy.”

It is clear that with Brad you fi­nally feel at home. And he does seem to be a per­fect match.

You are 45, he is 46, and he also has two chil­dren. You both work in en­ter­tain­ment, met three years ago on the set of Glee and of course the thing that you love to do to­gether the most is eat (a ‘sig­na­ture lob­ster dish’ ac­cord­ing to the Daily Mail, but we can work on that). He’s hand­some, suc­cess­ful (worth $20m ap­par­ently, not that you need his dosh) and set up a char­ity to sup­port cre­ative sto­ry­telling in Los Angeles schools.

I have no doubt that his Jewish mother al­ready loves you. It has been two years — trust me, if she didn’t you wouldn’t have lasted. And she could hardly be more Jewish — Nancy Falchuk is a past pres­i­dent of Hadas­sah, Amer­ica’s equiv­a­lent of WIZO.

You’ve done ev­ery­thing to win her favour, turn­ing up at the Hadas­sah Na­tional Con­ven­tion in 2016, and call­ing your­self a “power shiksa,” which is the sort of thing you can only get away with when you’re an Os­car-win­ner. Sen­si­bly you fol­lowed it up by stress­ing your dad’s rab­binic fore­bears and his Jewish val­ues, point­ing out that your fam­ily cel­e­brated all the fes­ti­vals.

And of course, it wasn’t your first time speak­ing at a Jewish char­ity event; you showed up for a Young CST event in cen­tral Lon­don in 2011, telling Vanessa Feltz that you were bring­ing Ap­ple and Moses up in a Jewish environment — some­thing, no doubt, Brad will have been help­ing you with re­cently.

I can only imag­ine the real glee you’ll feel when you and Brad host the seder to­gether as a mar­ried cou­ple. Who bet­ter to in­ter­pret the story of free­dom than you? I can pic­ture it now, you, Brad, Ap­ple, and Moses, Brad’s two chil­dren, his ex-wife Suzanne, and Chris with his 20-some­thingyear-old plus one, (there was al­ways go­ing to be some­one who found it harder to move on).

You’ve said — at that Hadas­sah con­ven­tion, packed with Jewish mums — that the ma­tri­lin­eal def­i­ni­tion of who is Jewish seems an­ti­quated. I’m in­clined to agree with you. Oth­ers won’t. But I’ve also heard ru­mours that you’re now think­ing of a full con­ver­sion. I can’t wait for the wed­ding, to see how you’ll work age old tra­di­tions into a new age cer­e­mony.

But most of all I’m look­ing for­ward to your Fri­day night recipe rec­om­men­da­tions on Goop.

Love,

I’m sure Brad’s Jewish mum loves you

PHO­TOS: GETTY IMAGES

Rosa Do­herty (left) says mazel­tov to Gwyneth Pal­trow and Brad Falchuk

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