A Reform-Orthodox love

RABBI DEBBIE Young-Somers and her husband Gary enjoy a mixed marriage — she is a Reform rabbi and he is Orthodox.

Although neither feels at home in the other’s synagogue, they have found a way to create a Jewish life together — and for their two young children.

And their example, Rabbi Young-Somers suggested at a Limmud session, raises questions about how relevant labels such as Reform or Orthodox are today for many in a modern Jewish community.

“As a community, we are used to putting things in boxes,” she said. “But Gary and I don’t fit in a box — and people aren’t used to that.”

Rabbi Young-Somers, who is now the community educator for the Reform movement, grew up in a family that was active in their local Reform synagogue.

Even so, her parents were “horrified” when she told them at the age of 20 she was planning to become a rabbi. “My grandfather said, ‘I thought you’d do much better than that’!”

Her involvement in interfaith dialogue, in particular, led her to explore Judaism more deeply and she adopted a more observant lifestyle. “I started to keep Shabbat in what is considered to be the Orthodox way,” she explained.

Mr Somers did not grow up Orthodox. His family were only occasional attenders of their Reform synagogue, although he did go to JFS. It was taking a degree in Hebrew at London University’s School of Oriental and African Studies that changed his life. “Because I learned Hebrew, it opened up a whole world of possibilities that had never been available to me,” he said.

Debbie YoungSomers