I’m so very sorry that you won’t be spending Pesach by the pool
AMID ALL the horror and misery surrounding Pesach 2020, spare a very brief thought and even shed a tiny tear for those forced to stay at home for the chag.
These are the women — almost always women — who at this time of year have nothing more on their minds than which of their many Heidi Klum swimsuits they are taking with them to Israel. Their focus is on packing, packing, packing, darling, not dreary food shopping or cleaning (though in any case they have a woman-whodoes to deal with all that).
Our socialites have not had to deal with the trauma of making Pesach for many a long year. They have a little bijou apartment in Tel Aviv, naturally, but they wouldn’t dream of making Pesach there.
Instead they are regular returning visitors at some of Israel’s finest five-star hotels, which lay on a lavish communal Seder for those who want it, and a more than delicious all-you-can-eat buffet each day. Blissful, obviously. I’m not in the slightest bit jealous, of course.
After a hotel Seder (just the one, it’s Israel) there is the inviting blue of the infinity pool. Sure, it’s a tad annoying not to have proper cappuccino for the duration of the festival, but it is a small price to pay not to have to wrestle with Pesach and all its demands.
But this year? Oh, my dears. Expect to hear the following: Yes, we were invited to an online Seder, but we decided it was just that teensy bit déclassé.
So since there’s just the two of us we’ve invested in the top-ofthe-range disposable plates and cutlery, ordered everything in to make it as painless as possible — and yes, yes, I will be wearing my new swimsuit as a top. Since you ask.
I’ll post the pictures on Facebook as usual for you to admire.