CORONAVIRUS
V A WEEK before the lockdown in March, I spoke at a Jewish Care patrons’ breakfast about the benefits of honest and open discussions with family and friends about end-of-life wishes and preferences.
For most people, there is an instinctive aversion to confronting mortality, as if such an exercise could hasten death.
Research consistently shows that the majority avoid discussing burial planning with their families, execute wills to govern their affairs or grant lasting powers of attorney to enable others to take crucial decisions should circumstances impair their mental capacity.
People postpone and defer, always imagining there is plenty of time. Sadly, that is not always the case.
Heartbreakingly, as a result of Covid-19, thousands of people have died suddenly and prematurely — and physically separated from their family.
This has starkly highlighted the need for timely end-of-life planning.
Along with countless colleagues, I have been working to support families unexpectedly having to make difficult end-of-life decisions, coordinating burial arrangements and trying to make sense of powerful and overwhelming emotions.
In the words of Dame Cicely Saunders,
founder of the hospice movement: “How someone dies remains in the memory of those that live on.” Too often, families are left with lasting unease, guilt and remorse as the result of unresolved questions.
Covid-19 has illuminated mortality and social isolation and, in many cases, has given people cause to consider who, and what, is most important to them.
Professionally, I hope that this challenging period prompts personal reflection and contemplation that, going forward, will be the foundation for a more proactive, rather than reactive approach towards end-of-life.
Pre-emptive end-of-life discussions and decisions should be seen as acts of kindness so that when death comes, all those involved have greater peace of mind.
For palliative care teams, peacefully escorting someone on their final journey is approached as a privilege.
I am constantly in awe of the loving embrace provided by Jewish Care staff, treating residents and families with respect, dignity and compassion up to their final moment. On behalf of Jewish Care, I hope and pray that you and your families remain safe and well.
Paula Plaskow is a social worker with more than 20 years’ experience and Jewish Care’s end-of-life care team manager. She is publicising Dying Matters Awareness Week, highlighting the importance of talking about death and bereavement