We must educate our children in ethical sexual decisions

▶ WE CAN no longer be blind to sexual violence within our student community. We have a chiyyuv (religious obligation) to work with our young adults to prevent sexual assault.

Among the most effective ways to achieve this is comprehensive, meaningful, Jewishly-underpinned, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) in secondary schools.

Over a decade ago, Dr Yocheved Dubow created a sex, relationships and health education curriculum for orthodox schools in America.

British orthodox schools must now take up this challenge. To those who argue that sexuality and intimacy are not subjects for a classroom setting, Dubow is clear: “While tzni’ut (modesty) is a core value, … we must recognise that … thwarting sexuality education in our schools will not advance the cause of tzni’ut, but will succeed in promoting general culture and its anti-tzni’ut stance as young people’s sole source of sexual values”.

The wholesale erasure of pre-marital sexuality within orthodox schools deprives pupils from Torah-observant families who are engaging (or thinking of engaging) in early sexual relationships of a safe place to ask questions and get answers from trusted adults with the right values.

Some parents believe that explicit discussion of intimate relationships leads to higher levels of sexual experimentation. Research shows the opposite: through development of personal agency, RSE becomes an informal safeguarding mechanism.

Schools must also help those have experienced sexual violence by removing the stigma of shame and replacing it with a focus on perpetrators and wanting to stop further desecration. Explicit use of Jewish texts to condemn abuse and assault sends a clear message that sexual violence is halachically never permitted and never the victim’s fault. This is as relevant within marriage as outside it.

The government’s new guidance on relationships education is an excellent starting point. For example, all children should be able to name all body parts — not euphemisms, but English language anatomical names.

However, a curriculum truly embodying halachic values will go further. Pupils should be encouraged to make ethical sexual decisions, based on a foundation of Jewish values embedded within a human rights framework. By being encouraged to reflect on and negotiate their own boundaries, pupils will in turn understand the importance of respecting the boundaries of others.

Sarah Bronzite is a teacher and researcher. The full-length version of this article can be found at www.thejc.com.