Looking after yourself as a dementia carer
Dementia is a growing health crisis. There are more than 850,000 people with dementia in the UK, and that’s set to rise to over a million by 2025. For the 700,000 family members who look after a person with dementia, caring can be a 24/7 job, and many carers struggle to look after their own needs.
Paulette Winchester-Joseph is a specialist Admiral nurse with Dementia UK.
“I have seen first-hand how easy it is for family carers to ignore their own health and social care needs whilst trying to meet the changing needs of their loved ones,” she says. “As dementia progresses, carers may find it increasingly challenging to prioritise themselves.”
Although it can be difficult, it’s important to look after yourself as a carer. Without support and time to recharge, your health and wellbeing may suffer, and ultimately, it could affect your ability to care for your loved one.
These tips from Dementia UK will help you to build self-care into your routine so you feel physically and mentally healthier, and more able to enjoy the time you spend with the person with dementia.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING
Stay physically active: go for a walk or cycle, play sports if you enjoy them, swim, do yoga, or join a local fitness class. There are also lots of exercise videos online — in some cases, the person with dementia may be able to join in.
Keep your mind active: read books or the newspaper, do puzzles and crosswords, or play cards or board games.
Make time for your regular dental, eyesight, hearing and other health checks.
Don’t ignore physical or mental symptoms such as aches and pains, low mood or anxiety. Your GP can offer support with health problems related to your caring role.
Ask your GP or adult social services about local respite services, so you can arrange some time to yourself.
MAKE THE MOST OF TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONE
Focus on what you and the person with dementia can still do together, rather than what you can’t. Listen to music together or watch a favourite film or musical.
Spend time outside – just sitting in the garden or on a park bench can lift your spirits.
Look through photos of you together, for example on holiday or at family gatherings.
Connect through physical touch, such as a hand massage.
LOOK AFTER YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
Let other family members know what your caring responsibilities involve. Often, people don’t realise how much you’re doing.
Ask for help — perhaps another relative or a friend could sit with the person once a week, to give you a break.
If possible, share out the caring duties among your family and friends — it may help to draw up a rota.
Phone a friend or relative when the person with dementia is asleep, at a day centre or spending time with another carer.
HOW THE ADMIRAL NURSE DEMENTIA HELPLINE COULD HELP
The Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline provides free advice and support on any aspect of dementia.
It’s run by Admiral nurses — specialist dementia nurses who are supported and developed by Dementia UK. They are a lifeline for families affected by all kinds of dementia.
Carer Cherry was supported in her caring role by Admiral nurse, Rachel.
“Through my chats with her, I could see that I was placing unbelievably high expectations on myself as a carer, and that I couldn’t really recognise my own needs,” Cherry says.
You can call the Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline free of charge, on 0800 888 6678.
Or email: helpline@dementiauk.org (Monday to Friday, 9am-9pm; Saturday and Sunday, 9am-5pm).