Don’t mind the gap!
TWO THINGS I know: Age is largely in the mind, and loneliness is unnecessary. I come from a family of agedefyers. My beloved late father at 100 would question why he should attend Jewish events “for old people”. My 70-year-old sister recently complained of having to “reacclimatise to mixing with people her own age” rather than three decades younger, and having had my daughter at age 45, I am often socialising with much younger mums. For me, having companions from different generations is natural.
Healthier ageing has extended our lifespans, shifting ‘middle age’ backwards. Traditional generational divides have diminished, and intergenerational projects have never been so popular. So, what are the benefits of companionships that mix youthful vitality with older wisdom (or rebellion!), and why would it make sense for active but occasionally lonely homeowners to consider having younger lodgers?
For starters, being active and positive, even from your fifties can increase longevity and help keep illness and dementia at bay. Studies show regular exercise reduces the risk of developing Alzheimer’s by a considerable 45 per cent, and just ‘feeling younger than your years’ comes with a lower risk of depression and hospitalisation for illness. Perhaps more incredibly, the most optimistic men and women have up to 15 per cent longer lifespans!
Reciprocally, mixing with older people helps younger people come to terms with ageing, and be less prone to depression. They can also gain wisdom and guidance from those with more life experience.
Vikki, a retired businesswoman in her early sixties, has always cultivated younger friendships. “I like the energy and positivity I get from them. I’m very interested in new things culturally and my young friends are a gateway to that. It’s kept me up to date with the latest innovations and exciting technology. It all helps you feel younger, and it keeps me interested in life.”
When socialising halted during lockdown many baby boomers (age 55-75) felt isolated living alone and unable to see their families. Vikki was lucky to share her Hampstead home with her 24-year-old son, but 3.7 million UK adults are now classified as lonely.
Loneliness has a huge impact on wellbeing. The more extreme effects have been likened to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. And for over-55s the problem has been compounded by rising divorce rates. The fastest growing rate is among couples married for more than 30 years which has risen almost 20 per cent in two decades. This, together with loss of partners, has left many alone when they would prefer not to be.
And while some 3.6 million over-65s have a spare room, 3.4 million 20-to34-year-olds cannot afford the market rents they need to leave home and gain independence. Intergenerational homeshare has already proved successful among the ‘senior’ population. It should benefit an active, mid-life generation even more in creating dynamic, youthful homeshare companionships. But how can these two groups meet?
Previously, homeowners over 50 could only easily source carers as housemates which was mostly irrelevant, or use homeshare agencies with ongoing fees.
Now, a matching site called Hapipod. com, requiring only a one-off subscription, brings people of all ages together.
Founded on a robust ID and background check, Hapipod connects homeowners with a spare room wanting a little income plus more company or help, with younger people happy to give ten hours a week in exchange for reduced rent. It is a contemporary living arrangement similar to au pairing, just for a different life stage.
With the ability to search for homesharers based on background and interests, including religion and kashrut, Hapipod can unlock a world of affordable Jewish accommodation. This also helps alleviate the anxiety of people who would prefer a parent to find a compatible Jewish lodger.
Vikki says that once her son moves out, she would want to use it. “I’m always active and busy, so having someone compatible to help with errands and occasionally chat with over a coffee would be ideal. Plus, it would mean a little extra money coming in while helping someone find their first comfortable footing in a notoriously expensive city.”
I like the energy and positivity I get from younger friends’