When disaster strikes, be prepared for everything
NOTHING PREPARES one for the death of parents, especially when they pass away six months apart. Unfortunately, Debbie Kagan knows the feeling well. Her life was thrown into disarray when her father and her mother both suffered severe strokes. Apart from the pain of watching their physical deterioration, she was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work required to manage their medical and financial affairs day-to-day while they were hospitalised, before they both sadly died.
The experience prompted her and her friend Leah Nevies to setup a website, which aims to help the bereaved. Called justoneplace.co.uk it is is a free one-stop place to help organise all one’s personal, medical and financial information, to be used by next of kin in the sudden event of being incapacitated or worse.
The timing of this issue could not be more urgent as Covid saw thousands become seriously ill in a matter of hours. TV presenter Kate Garraway opened up about the major challenges she faced when her husband Derek wasstruck down by the virus. All the bills and insurance policies were in his name, creating extra hurdles for her to manage while he was clinging to life. Moreover, the fact that she hadn’t been given Power of Attorney for his health or finances made matters all the more complicated.
For Kagan, the distress went beyond the obvious. When the doctor asked for the name and model of her father’s defibrillator as he was dying, she had to spend those precious hours trying to locate the information. Her father had always kept the information on a card in his pocket but since his stroke, he had been in several hospitals and a care home and it was no longer there. He survived for two years after his stroke, before he passed away. Five months later her mother suffered a stroke and died a month later. “It’s the deck of cards all being thrown up in the air,” says Kagan. “In the time meant for grieving, there’s so much to sort out.”
Nevies’s determination to set up this resource is also based on personal experience. Her friend’s son passed away at a young age, leaving behind a grieving widow and three children, the youngest only three years old. His sudden diagnosis of cancer meant enduring medical trials and gruelling treatments.
“Everything happened so quickly, he never had the chance to talk to his wife about finances,” Nevies explains.
“As he hadn’t been able to work for months, his business affairs were left in tangles and no one knew anything. Family members had to literally sift through piles of paperwork, accounts and bills to try and make sense of everything. This was all whilst trying to come to terms with their own grief and shock at what had happened.”
Then there are the cases of financial information that is
overlooked because it has never been shared, or it has simply been forgotten about. Pensions are a big one, often forgotten when people change jobs. The same goes for bank accounts that become dormant over time. In many cases this is money that will never see the light of day because the account holder has forgotten it even exists and therefore, further down the line, the next of kin never knows about it.
As a result of their experiences Kagan and Nevies were determined that if something happened to them, they wanted to make life as easy as possible for their own families. Beyond the obvious suffering surrounding a bereavement, they didn’t want anyone enduring the additional trauma of piecing together the puzzle of their loved one’s life, especially when something could be done to help.
They consulted widely among family, friends and professionals about which key details need to be recorded. They also talked to a doctor working in A&E, to understand what key information they would need —such as NHS numbers, prescriptions, allergies, blood group and Covid-jab details.
The result is a thorough checklist of information on, among others, standing orders, direct debits, warranties, insurance, power of attorney and critically the reminder of a will.
The friends acknowledge that many people are frightened or superstitious to talk about money and death, but in reality not doing so just causes enormous problems.
“We are not immortal and there needs to be communication about assets, in order to protect a spouse and next of kin.”
In a sense the form-based website has demystified the discomfort surrounding talking about death and wills, because it is done in a way that makes it a practical necessity rather than an emotional, uncomfortable discussion. Their advisors confirmed this is “essential documentation,” which will enable beneficiaries to smooth the probate and inheritance tax processes. This will save a lot of money, not to mention years in fact-finding.
“It ensures and reminds people to make a will,” says Kagan. “Moreover, it makes you more astute about matters you may have forgotten about over the years.’
As solicitor Geoffrey Greenhouse points out on the website, failing to keep proper documentation can mean money sitting dormant in frozen accounts. “Financial institutions hold many hundreds of millions in dormant bank accounts, unclaimed assets and insurance policies. They are not particularly anxious to locate the owner and return the funds.
“Two years ago, a major high street bank was heavily fined by the regulator for holding £300,000,000 in dormant accounts without contacting the owners. Make sure that this does not happen to you and keep proper records, for your own benefit and for the benefit of your nearest and dearest.”
Kagan and Nevies set up the website as a passion project in memory of both their parents, As a free and secure service (they hold no records) they are hopeful it will encourage huge take-up. Since launching their site a few months ago, they have built solid awareness through word of mouth and press. Many people, especially women, have voiced their gratitude for this invaluable service.
“It’s like doing a jigsaw puzzle, you don’t have to do it in one go and it’s actually a cathartic process, as you get the opportunity to clean up your own life.”
Family members had to sift through paperwork, accounts and bills to try and make sense of everything