Love online
Tells Victoria Prever how she adapted dinner date evenings to the pandemic
When Covid 19 halted her regular cookery dating nights in March 2020, Denise Phillips’s Date on a Plate Jewish singles events looked to be off the menu.
The original format, which Phillips created more than 20 years ago, had involved six men and six women meeting at Denise’s home in Northwood on a Sunday night. They would spend an hour cooking a meal before sitting down to eat together. “The continuous flow of cookery banter while they worked in the kitchen helped the guests relax. It helped smooth out the awkward shy/ quiet moments when strangers meet for the first time,” says Phillips.
Between each course, Phillips would ask the men to swap seats, and the 12 singletons would leave armed with everyone’s email addresses.
Once the potential partners had been locked down in their own kitchens, she needed a new way for them to connect. “I pivoted and recreated the format online via Zoom,” she explains.
Instead of welcoming the guests into her kitchen, she invited them to Zoom into her home office. “I would ask them to introduce themselves to the group and then put each potential couple into a break-out room for six minutes for a private chat, repeating the process until all the men had met all the women.”
There were unexpected benefits in transferring from kitchen to screen. With space no longer an issue, each meet up could increase from twelve to 16 or even 18 people at a time.
In addition, there were no borders — singles could meet their maybe matches from anywhere and not just driving distance from Northwood.
Since going on Zoom, her guests have hailed from all over the UK, including Leeds, Glasgow and Manchester and as far afield as America, Israel, and France. One joined from the beach in the Bahamas.
“Covid has allowed many people
Denise Phillips
to work from home permanently, and this has meant that long-distance relationships are now much more feasible. You can go and live with your partner in Leeds or Canada and still keep your job!”
The online format also meant that those living in smaller towns across the UK could look further afield. “They might already have met all potential partners in their local town, so the new online format had an added benefit. All from the comfort of their homes on a cold Sunday night.”
Among her success stories were Andrea Wayne and Barry Freed, who joined from South Manchester and Essex respectively and have been now dating for 18 months. “They went from Zoom dinner dates and Facetime calls to face-to-face visits — all from one six-minute chat!” The couple were part of her 60–70 age bracket group, a demographic that Phillips says is growing all the time. “I’m definitely finding that age group is booming — I get guys of more than 75 years old enquiring,” she says.
“Many people would still not want to be out in large groups or busy venues, so it’s a chance to socialise safely. It’s delightful to see the joy in people’s faces — just having a chat to others.”
Freed said: “It’s never too late to meet someone with whom you are compatible and who you can click with.”
There may not be any food on the table on the virtual evenings, but Phillips still finds it works as an ice breaker: “When I put the couples into breakout rooms, I give them all a topic to talk about — maybe their favourite comfort food; what they would serve for a Valentine’s Day meal or perhaps childhood food memories. When they come back I’ll ask them what they talked about. It really helps make things less awkward.”
Phillips now runs Zoom events on three Sundays each month for a range of age groups in 10-year brackets from 25 up to 70+. From last November, as life opened up a little, she was able to bring back in-person cookery events one Sunday a month, with a Valentine’s themed evening on Sunday 13 February where her guests (in the 50–60 age bracket) will be preparing a meal including canapes; salmon with a champagne sauce; a chocolate dessert; and petits fours.
She doesn’t claim any matchmaking magic but feels the formula of her cookery sessions is the charm.
“I’ve had two engagements in the last six months — one couple met on Zoom and the other at a face-to-face group three years ago. Cooking together is fun and requires people to communicate and interact with others.
“The evening is fast-paced and provides a structure to help with that first connection with a new person. Real people talking and connecting is the vital ingredient rather than a mechanistic tick box process.
“Very often those that start dating via my events, are not those who I would have necessarily put together.”