Punctuality, phones and other dating etiquette
BEING A matchmaker means I’ve heard many a dating story in my time. I have become a sounding board for my clients who tell me about the good dates, bad dates and the everything in between dates. I’ve even been approached, when out with friends, at weddings or at work by people who are keen to offload their current dating situations and hear my thoughts. Truly, I know of every dating tale going!
A recurring point of contention is frustration around dating etiquette. Repeatedly, I am told of unfortunate dating habits that seem to be ever present in today’s dating scene. From a late date arrival to awkwardly settling the bill the reality of dating isn’t always a movie-like adventure. So as spring has sprung, I feel that now is the perfect time to do some spring cleaning and overhaul your dating etiquette. Weeding out dating habits can be a challenge, but it may be the very thing holding you back.
Planning a date once Pesach is over? Here are my golden rules to make sure you don’t end up as someone’s dating nightmare story.
1. STOP TURNING UP LATE TO DATES
Would you turn up to a job interview late? No, not if you really wanted the job. Rocking up late to a date is not cool and certainly not going to land you any brownie points for a second date.
2. GREETING YOUR DATE
Play it safe with a friendly hug. A kiss is stressful because you don’t know if they are going in for one or two. Whatever you do, never just wave. It sets the tone for awkwardness and nobody has time for that.
3. THE NO PHONE RULE
Putting your phone on the table when on a date is code for I’m half interested in being here right now (even if it’s turned upside down). Nobody wants to see JSwipe notifications pop up in between drinks so unless you are waiting to hear some life-changing news your phone should stay completely out of sight.
4. IT TAKES TWO
Not asking questions on a date is my absolute pet peeve. It takes two people to make for an interesting conversation so share the stage. However, do not, under any circumstances turn this into an interview. I would also avoid discussing marriage and children as we are heading to tumultuous waters here. Ultimately, if conversation doesn’t flow or dries up you’ve killed the date off anyway so be mindful of keeping chat light but always show interest.
5. SETTLING THE BILL
We’ve all watched First Dates on Channel Four and seen the absolute cringe-fest when the bill arrives. We can’t escape the moment but this is all part and parcel of dating. It is 2022 so ladies, never expect a man to pay for your date. And men, it is 2022 so never assume a lady wants you to pay for them. My solution is that that the person who did the inviting and organising should be the one to pay. But there’s no blanket rule! If you can navigate it with a smile, then things bode well for the next date.