The day I pledge that I won’t try to speak for you

I“My biggest bugbear about International Women’s Day is that not every woman gets an equal platform. Most have to sit in silence and listen to another woman charged with the task of speaking for them

T’S International Women’s Day, and I still don’t get it. Like, what’s the point of it, please?

It can’t be to promote equality for all.

Because the only time I ever get asked to work for free is on International Women’s Day.

It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Plus I don’t even get to just be myself at these events.

I always get asked to define what a woman is. Or explain what being a woman means to me.

Both questions are ones I’ve never had the answers to.

And, though the questions remain the same, the answers get more complicated every year.

I’m not a bouncer on the doors of Club Womanhood.

I don’t get to decide who gets in, or not.

Nor would I want to.

I don’t resonate with any particular female struggle.

So there’s no real point in asking me about that, either.

I’m just a human that does the things I like best. And, luckily, also manages to get paid for it.

(Unless it is International Woman’s Day, obviously.)

I am a mother of girls. Yet I have no gender-specific pearls of wisdom to offer them.

It’s all just about being a good human.

Be kind. Keep your promises. Treat everyone you meet with respect.

Everyone. You. Meet.

As in, individuals.

You can’t go wrong if you treat every single human you come across well. It soon adds up to being good to a lot of people. I’m not a feminist. There’s no need for me to be, because I don’t feel repressed. Am I missing something here? I’ve never met a self-proclaimed female activist who doesn’t like arguing.

And I abhor confrontation. So they really wouldn’t want me for their cause anyway. I’d be a rubbish representative.

I admire loads of people. Does it matter what gender they are?

Are role models going to be better for me if they are also women?

I find it bizarre that being a woman is something that I’m supposed to have in common with someone.

Why though?

I honestly don’t believe that I am who I am because I am a woman.

My character traits. My personal preferences. They are just that, personal.

I’d love you to celebrate being a woman, if today makes you happy.

And if I’m wrong, and this day of recognition makes you feel included in something, then feel free to ignore my grumblings on the matter.

But I for one will be happy when it’s all done and dusted for another year.

365 days of no one asking me questions I don’t know how the heck to answer.

And no one trying to make me speak for other people.

Because that’s my biggest bugbear about International Women’s Day: Not every woman gets an equal platform.

The majority have to sit in silence and listen to another woman charged with the task of speaking for them.

Which defeats the entire point. I promise not to speak for you today – if you promise not to speak for me.

(‘Cos neither of us are getting paid for it, either way…)