I’ve got a few commandments for this weekend
GOOD Friday. Not great Friday though, is it? And not just because it was Christmas about five minutes ago.
Nor is it completely due to the fact we will need Noah and his Old Testament Ark to get us around this wet long weekend.
But they are definitely contributory factors.
The Gregorian calendar has done us all dirty this year, and no mistake.
March is too early for Easter Weekend.
Imagine if they changed Christmas in this manner?
Folk would be putting their trees up in August!
Events companies are getting wise to the fact that parents love taking their kids to themed days out during school holidays.
They are putting lots of time, thought and money behind Easter extravaganzas.
Only problem is, schools break up about twenty minutes before Easter now. Just like they did at Christmas.
So there’s no hours left to make use of them.
Who wants to go meet the Eastern Bunny a week after Easter?
What is the point in doing an egg hunt after they’ve all been eaten? Would just be a hunt then.
An act that becomes quite sinister, without confectionary…
Schools have been closed for a mere 24 hours, and my kids are already begging to return.
Not as loud as I am though, obviously.
I think we all feel just a bit cheated by how short the last term was.
Still, at least this break is centred around chocolate. Which is how every holiday should conduct itself, let’s be honest.
I’m supposed to be on a diet. But I’ll take a break.
It’s what Jesus would have wanted. Presumably. Don’t even know if he was big on
snacks, to be honest.
There’s not too much said about it in the Bible.
Was He keen on soft play? Because I’ll be doing a great deal of that, let me tell you.
Not sure how he felt about visiting playgrounds.
But hopefully he was a fan. Do you know how we are supposed to celebrate Easter? I actually don’t have a clue. Apart from it not being Lent any more.
And we don’t go to work, and such.
It feels like there should be clearer guidance on the subject.
Failing that, it’s time to make our own rules:
It shall be illegal to rain over this holy weekend.
At least one day will cometh with a free babysitter, or a long liein.
All shall be able to serve lamb chops without small children enquiring suspiciously of their origin.
All Easter eggs are hereby calorie-free.
Easter Sunday breakfast and dinner shall cook itself.
Everything will be eaten off paper plates. Probably because wishing dishes is forbidden, or something.
Talk about an occasion I could seriously get behind! Now thats an eggscellent Friday.