AM I AS UNLOVABLE AS I THINK I AM?

When my son was very young, I split up with his father and began a relationship with a much older man. He never truly acknowledged me as his girlfriend and when I became pregnant, he pressured me into having an abortion. I was only 24. Within about two years, he got another girl pregnant and married her. They are still happily married. I have recently cut off all contact with him. I am now 40 and so lonely. I can’t get a boyfriend, despite trying various dating sites. I feel there is something deeply unlovable about me. I don’t think I will ever be able to let go of this man. You are still hanging on to the fantasy that he was the right man for you and this is made worse by the fact that he is now happily married with children, which is the life that you wanted with him. It’s painful, but you need to face the fact that he never loved you. He just used you for sex and abandoned you when he met someone new. You are hanging on to a dream that has turned into a nightmare. Another reason why it has been so difficult for you to move on is the fact that you have only recently cut off all contact with him. Tell yourself that you are not going to let this man wreck the rest of your life, consign him to history and enjoy spending time with your son. You are not unlovable, but you need to like and love yourself in order to believe that other people can love you. Please have counselling with Relate (relate.org.uk) to work on this. Try more dating sites, but also try to make new friends. Join Meetup (meetup.com) to discover groups and activities that could improve your social life.