You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

I was born in Croydon. I’ve always been ashamed of this and tried to get away with saying I come from London. But then Kate Moss was born in Croydon. I’d love to compare notes with her! Tory MP Nicholas Soames gives me his rather original excuse at China Exchange for wanting to hang out with the supermodel.

My mother was barking mad, but it’s only clear to me now. I just assumed people cleaned their ceilings or they opened the doors from the bottoms so you don’t get the handles dirty. I thought it was normal. Ruby Wax’s confession should make us all feel better about our mothers...

I’m scared of touching anything and anyone touching me. Someone hugged me tonight and covered me in fake tan, which proves me right! Myleene Klass, left, assures me that her paranoia is justified – particularly if you don’t like orange.

I went to Tony’s house and I said, shocked, “This is very tasteful for you, Tony.” And he replied, “It was Sir John Gielgud’s house, I haven’t changed anything.” Businessman and socialite Sir David Tang offers his blunt verdict on Tony Blair’s taste.

I am in St Tropez with Joan Collins anda she has just pretendedp to be arresteda by a man whow was dressed a as a gendarme. IvanIv Massow – star of Channel 4 p programme Rich Brother Poor B Brother – tells me a break with th the Dame is anything but relaxing.

The Great Wall of China is amazing, but I Id didn’t realise that thereth were so many steps! It turned into a very long walk. Troubled tennis star Maria Sharapova reveals to me that she’s rubbish at geography.