QUOTES of the week
‘Our kids have to get some of these genes, right?’ Olympic cyclist Laura Trott predicts a bright future for any children she has with fellow Rio champion Jason Kenny.
‘Liar, liar, Speedo on fire.’ New York Post headline after US Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte falsely claimed to have been robbed in Rio.
‘He thinks barbaric murderers who behead journalists and lynch homosexuals are the sort of people we should negotiate with.’ Tory MP Johnny Mercer condemns the plan by Labour’s Owen Smith to invite IS to Syrian peace talks.
‘I don’t understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.’ Husband Kent Graham’s contribution to an internet thread about married life.
‘If your results are disappointing, don’t worry. I got a C and two Us and I’m on a super-yacht in the Med.’ Jeremy Clarkson offers some comfort to A-level students who underachieved.
‘When they have spent £72million, producers are not going to stop because I say, “That hood isn’t right.” They’re going to say, “Thank you honey, have another glass of champagne.”’ Philippa Gregory bemoans inaccuracies in film versions of her historical novels.
‘Send me to the Lords. They won’t be nodding off when I’m there.’ Ex-cricketer Geoff Boycott believes his no-nonsense attitude will make him a favourite in the Upper House.
‘Dancing in Caterpillar boots isn’t quite the tango.’ Louise Redknapp knows her stint in girl band Eternal won’t help her on Strictly.