Clemmie on... the joy of sex during pregnancy ...the dad’s dilemma ...and wax

DURING all three of my pregnancies, once the hideous morning sickness had gone, I was up for it. And by ‘it’ I mean sex. My poor husband was totally perplexed by the whole matter.

In our normal, non-pregnant relationship he’d have to do a lot of subtle hinting, and like most couples with young children, the line ‘I’m too tired’ was often thrown about by either one of us.

But the pregnant me could have pounced on my husband at any given opportunity. I know I’m not alone in this. But you may find your man is not as keen.

I’ll never forget one chap telling me he was worried about having sex with his pregnant partner because he didn’t want to poke the baby’s face.

I joked with him that not many men would be so anatomically equipped, before explaining that the cervix remains completely closed during pregnancy to prevent the baby falling out. So no risk there then. It’s worth keeping in mind that you may experience mild contractions during sex, but these are false alarms and not powerful enough to start labour (unless it’s imminent). These contractions may continue for about half an hour, but they are not dangerous for you or the baby. However, if you experience fresh bleeding during or after intercourse, speak to your midwife or maternity assessment unit. And what about after? I’m often asked when’s the right time to resume activities. Well, you’re the only person who can answer that. Most women wait until they’ve had their six-week check-up. A man should be considerate and, anyway, there are other things you can do to be intimate.

Remember, you can get pregnant when you’re breastfeeding if you have unprotected sex. I think you’ll find a new baby is the best form of contraception.

IT’S pretty much the norm for husbands to be at antenatal classes and the birth.

But there are probably more men than will admit it who’d choose not to be in the delivery room at all, or would much prefer to be by their partner’s head than at the business end when she’s in labour. And I quite understand why a man wouldn’t necessarily want to watch while a woman has a cut in her vagina – it’s called an episiotomy – to help the baby’s delivery. It’s a good idea for couples to discuss this honestly before the event. Quite a few women choose to have female support when they’re giving birth and that’s fine, too.

My husband Simon was at the birth of all our children and cut every cord. He adores his girls and has started his own Instagram account, Father Of Daughters, which has nearly half a million followers. TO WAX or not to wax: it’s a question I am asked all the time. It doesn’t make a bit of difference to us midwives. But if having body hair really leaves you self-conscious, then go for it. Having said that, you’ll be a bit sensitive down there. Think about the growing-back stage, which can mean ingrown hairs or a rash. After giving birth and having stitches, it could well become unpleasant…