You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

I think I might retire. I want to retire. Australian director Baz Luhrmann may be one of the most successful directors in Hollywood, but hints to me at the V&A Summer Party that he’s really had enough of Tinseltown.

My whole goal in life is not giving a damn. Artist Grayson Perry takes a very quirky approach to most things, including, he reveals, his philosophy on life.

I can’t believe Corbyn is actually on stage the same time as me... it’s such an unfortunate clash. I’m going to be in too much competition. I wish he could have looked at his guide and timed it a bit better. Seems KT Tunstall, right, has no illusions about who is the biggest draw as their schedules clash at Glastonbury.

If it was up to me I’d take 300 sheep over London Bridge and people would shout, “What is going on?” Country boy and new MBE Ed Sheeran looks ahead to his next honour as he toys with the idea of becoming a freeman of the City of London and enjoying one particular privilege.

I went to see a clairvoyant. This lady with big blue earrings took me into a room painted with a big crucifix. I thought I’d never get out alive. And she did have a crystal ball, and I thought I’m such an idiot. Hannah Rothschild talks at the China Exchange about how her one and only visit to a fortuneteller didn’t go too well. Well, she should have seen it coming.

Michael used to call me up and ask me to sing. This was his habit. Former Bee Gee Barry Gibb tells me about his unusual relationship with Michael Jackson, and unexpected calls from him in the night. Sounds like Jacko had a touch of the Night Fever…