Ban the MANBUN!

As even Barbie’s Ken gets a ‘topknot’ LIZ JONES reaches for her scissors on a truly hideous celebrity trend

IT HAD to happen. The Ken doll, once the bastion of muscular( if genital-free) masculinity, who made his debut as Barbie’ s boyfriend way back in 1961, has been given a 21st Century makeover.

Last week, toy-maker Mattel unveiled a new range of Kens, ostensibly to reflect ‘a changing world’.

Geeky Ken, Afro Ken and even Surfer Ken with a blond quiff are all well and good. But what worries me is the introduction of Manbun Ken with a topknot that should really be a top not – as it’s effete, greasy and narcissistic.

It’s the male equivalent of the Essex doughnut, a rockhard bun worn by women who can’t afford a facelift, only worse. A passive aggressive hairdo that states: ‘I like to think I’m a rebel, but please don’t pull my hair.’

How on earth did the manbun become so mainstream that even a company like Mattel, which believes women should still possess a handspan waist and huge breasts, has embraced it?

I blame the influence of One Direction’s Harry Styles who, along with David Beckham, was an early champion.

He recognised the fact that has long been proven – by

‘It’s effete, greasy and narcissistic’

everyone from David Cassidy to Justin Bieber – that young female fans only really fall for androgynous idols. When you are 11 or 12, anything too blatantly male is terrifying.

There are now entire blogs dedicated to the subject of the manbun.

Apparently, it should be low-s lung, not perched atop the head with shaved sides, a la Shak in EastEnders (a look copied by numerous schoolboys).

The angle should be at 90 degrees from your crown, facing outwards, not up. It should have tendrils, and be shiny, slick with ‘product’.

But as far as I’m concerned, the manbun, along with the manbag and mansplaining, should be outlawed; if you sit behind one on the bus, snip it off.

The only male allowed to own a topknot is a Sikh; even then, hair should be covered with a turban.

My advice? Wean your daughters on to Sindy, whose really nice boyfriend, Paul, has a Beatles haircut, Chelsea boots, and a car coat proudly ‘ Empire made’. Or maybe I’m just stuck in the past.

But as we’re stuck with them an bun as a trend, here’s my verdict on some of the celebrities committing these crimes against masculinity…

NO KEN DO: Ken’s bun is far too high – and where’s the beard and tattoo? TITANIC DISASTER: Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to escape his pretty-boy image. Job done

BLOOMIN’ AWFUL: Thankfully Orlando has ditched this lowslung flamenco style

GOLDENBUNS: David Beckham was an early adopter – and passed on the terrible look to son Brooklyn, below

JAKE’S MISTAKE: Mr Gyllenhaal thinks a bun adds gravitas. Wrong!

BUN CONTROL: American Sniper Bradley Cooper really needs an American snipper

HAIRY STYLES: The 1D star once looked like Crystal Tipps on crystal meth. This is worse

THE PITTS: Brad follows rule No 1, loose tendrils... but not rule No 2, just NO!

PS: But it still beats a combover, Donald TRUMP’S TOWER: How the President might look

KNOT GOOD: Shaved sides make Colin Farrell look dim