Vince and the very racy bonkbuster that’s got the Commons guessing
VINCE Cable reclines on the green leather seat in his Commons office overlooking the Thames and talks about… love, sex and marriage.
Somehow the Lib Dem leader, despite or perhaps because of his 74 years, manages to convey the wisdom of Solomon – alongside a mischievous air.
After regaining his Commons seat in June and becoming party leader, energetic Cable has published his debut novel, Open Arms.
The title reflects the two key ingredients of his thriller set in 2019 in post-Brexit Britain – Tory Ministers getting mixed up in a dodgy arms deal in India, with sex scandals thrown in.
The book carries the obligatory ‘any similarities between the characters and real people is entirely accidental’ disclaimer. Some may take issue with the ‘entirely.’
The dramatis personae include: a blonde Defence Minister who has a fling with a ‘George Clooney lookalike’ Indian arms dealer – and voted Remain; a Defence Secretary’s sidekick fired for dodgy dealings; a new male PM who is a repressed homosexual with a wife but prefers ‘young men in Turkish baths’; and Brexit bigots in ‘Surrey Heights’ Conservative Association.
Cable admits heroic union official and rising Labour star ‘Steve Grant’ is inspired by former postman and ex-Home Secretary Alan Johnson.
And years of frustration from clashes with Theresa May round the Coalition Cabinet table are vented in one short sentence: the Tories’ ‘respectable woman PM’ had been deposed in a 2019 coup.
‘It’s not vengeful,’ laughs Vince, somewhat unconvincingly, adding: ‘ The boys are back in charge. Theresa has disappeared.’
Wisely, he is keeping quiet about the identities of the rest. And he denies writing a ‘bonkbuster’, saying haughtily: ‘ I’m not Edwina Currie.’ But there is bed-hopping.
Married Defence Minister ‘Kate Thompson preferred men to women having tried both.’ When she sleeps with her Indian lover ‘a dam broke, sweeping away their pent-up emotional and physical constraints.’
The book draws heavily on Cable’s political and personal hinterland. He was a Labour councillor in the 1970s, Shell chief economist, a Lib Dem Cabinet Minister and has negotiated trade deals.
First wife Olympia was an Indian East African and died in 2001. He married Rachel in 2004. In 2010 he dazzled in a Celebrity Strictly Come Dancing Christmas show.
As well as using the book to expose what Cable claims will be the disastrous consequences of Brexit he also tackles social issues.
‘Shaida Khan’, a young Asian businesswoman is under pressure from her strict Muslim family to be a traditional ‘meek and submissive’ female, but revels in ‘internet sex’.
Cable says: ‘The two most important characters in the book are women. I am trying to get under their skin. They embody a world where emancipated women are breaking away from stereotypes.’
‘Kate’ complains her MoD mandarin ‘spends his time gazing at my chest’. ‘Shaida’ is drawn to hunky union man ‘Grant’ but fears her family’s disapproval.
He writes of ‘Kate’ in her 20s, she had ‘sex in cheap and dirty hotels in India with an unkempt Aussie’. Cable travelled in India as a young man. Did he ‘have sex in cheap and dirty hotels’? ‘I had a few adventures, a few romances,’ he smiles.
He admits to over-enthusiasm on the sex scenes. ‘Everyone jumped into bed straightaway in the first draft, so I had to tone it down.’ What did wife Rachel think? ‘She is not prudish, we are very much in love so it wasn’t awkward.’
Cable has spoken in the past of his deep grief over the death of first wife Olympia from cancer after they overcame opposition to their love on cultural and racial grounds from their respective families.
A measure of the strength of his marriage to Rachel is a moment on election day, June 8. While he paced around their home waiting to hear if he had won his Twickenham seat, Rachel suggested he visited Olympia’s grave to calm his nerves.
He says. ‘I go quite often and just sit there. Ever since we met, Rachel has been hugely generous in spirit. Retrospective jealousy has never been there. She’s been lovely about it and sometimes comes with me.’
Cable is the oldest British party leader since Churchill and says he has not given up hope of becoming Prime Minister. ‘Yes, I do think it is possible. I’m my party’s alternative PM.’
‘Everyone jumped into bed in the first draft’