QUOTES of the week

‘If the cast of Mrs Brown’s Boys get done for tax evasion it’ll be the funniest thing they’ve ever done.’ Twitter user Tony Macklin after three members of the BBC comedy allegedly put £2 million into an offshore fund in Mauritius.

‘Trump is one of the least reflective and introspective men that has ever breathed oxygen.’ Actor Alec Baldwin, who impersonates the US President on satirical show Saturday Night Live.

‘We’re now at the OJ and white Bronco stage.’ Twitter user Mark Di Stefano evokes the memory of the US star’s famous car chase as 22,000 people tracked online Priti Patel’s flight to Britain before she was fired by No 10.

‘Apparently my curtsey hasn’t been seen in Court circles for about 400 years.’ Actress Helen McCrory, who was congratulated by the Queen on her curtsey after receiving her OBE.

‘I got shown who’s boss.’ Surfer Andrew Cotton, who broke his back after being wiped out by a 60ft wave off Portugal.

‘Quite how I have been so verbose about the most boring person I’ve ever written about eludes me.’ Andrew Lloyd Webber is frank ahead of publication of his autobiography.

‘They were rich times and I indulged myself with all my fantasies. Now they’d think I was a dirty old perv.’ Sir Michael Parkinson admits he wouldn’t dare flirt with chat-show guests today.

‘He was the don of all things Italian, hanging out of the front door with a fat cigar and a glass of something splendid.’ Chef Jamie Oliver pays tribute to Antonio Carluccio, who died last week aged 80.

‘I’m like Victoria Beckham – you know, when she’s really, really hungry, she has a piece of lettuce.’ Anne Robinson, who says that older women on TV have to be clever and thin.