You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

Am I going to the wedding? Yes, of course. I am very happy for them. Have I met her? Oh my goodness, let’s change the subject.

Earl Spencer hints during a Waterstones book-signing that he’s met Meghan Markle, so perhaps rumours she joined Harry at a service to commemorate Diana at Althorp in July are true. I get into bed with a strange man I don’t know but quite fancy. Then I get dressed and go home to my husband. Dawn French admits she’s rather enjoying the sex scenes in her Sky TV hit Delicious. Marianne is a dear friend. We got on because we knew we were both Capricorns... and we both had a Mick Jagger in common! Carla Bruni, left, says she and Marianne Faithfull bonded over their star sign and star lover. The Duke of Edinburgh said, “Are you the nut that swam the Channel? Any more nuts in your family?” then he walked off before I could answer. David Walliams tells me at the Lord’s Taverners Christmas lunch of his bizarre encounter with the Duke of Edinburgh! We do hear the neighbours having sex quite often. My son Milo thought it was a ghost the last time. They are obviously having a good time and I don’t want to pee on their parade by telling them off. Olympic hero Greg Rutherford tells me at the Evening Standard’s Felix Project appeal that he’s happy to keep his young son in the dark about the goings-on next door. Michael Caine loves Fernet-Branca. It’s made from artichokes. He says you’ll never feel hungover – but somebody sent me a large case of it and I’ve been giving it away ever since. Director Christopher Nolan admits at a Bafta talk he’s not a fan of the actor’s favourite tipple.