QUOTES of the week

‘We have a very special relationship. In fact, I’ll just get that little piece of dandruff off. We have to make him perfect. He is perfect.’ Donald Trump lavishes attention on French president Emmanuel Macron during his visit to Washington.

‘I’m assuming no woman was consulted in this celebration of female empowerment.’ Twitter user cannot believe the National Trust has marked a century of women’s suffrage with a commemorative tea towel.

‘How did I ask? I got down on one knee.’ Prince Harry jokes about asking his brother William to be his best man next month.

‘Less stubbly.’ Rachel Weisz, when asked to describe how kissing Rachel McAdams in her latest film compared to embracing husband Daniel Craig.

‘The tache with the cash.’ Nickname given to US billionaire Shahid Khan, who wants to buy Wembley Stadium.

‘It was time to tell my tale before I suffer from hamnesia, which happens to elderly actors.’ Monty Python star Eric Idle, 75, who is writing his memoirs.

‘We’re on our knees.’ TSB boss Paul Pester comes clean after the bank’s computer system meltdown.

‘I’m happy to do something about it but I don’t want to look like Vladimir Putin.’ Actress Maureen Lipman doesn’t rule out the idea of having cosmetic surgery.

‘A multi-faceted shambles.’ MP Meg Hillier’s description of train operator Govia Thameslink.

‘I’m so unco-ordinated – I had to try really hard not to stab Tom Cruise in the eye.’ Vanessa Kirby confesses that her Mission: Impossible scenes with the Hollywood superstar were fraught with danger.