I was scared to let myself DREAM AGAIN

Piggy French is rising from the depths of despair after London Olympics nightmare

By Eleanore Kelly

PIGGY FRENCH fights back t he t ears. It is six years since devastating injuries to her two finest horses ended the dream of competing at the London Olympics, but the pain is still raw.

In the build-up to 2012 French, christened Ge or gina but nicknamed Piggy by her sisters after Winnie the Pooh’s Piglet, was Britain’s best hope of an individual equestrianism gold medal until the injuries struck.

When another of her horses was hurt just before the 2013 European Championships, French was at a painful low and considered quitting.

It has taken a new love and the birth of her son Max to restore this 37- year- old’s faith in the equestrian world she loves.

‘ It’s still raw six years on,’ French admits, as she prepares to end a six-year exile by competing in this week’s Badminton Horse Trials.

‘Of course there will be other Olympics and championships but there will never be another London. Giving up was high on the list and after London I wanted to dig a big hole and put myself in it. Having a baby was the best thing that could have happened.

‘I had lost self-esteem and selfbelief. I really look after my horses, but I knew people thought the injuries must be down to bad practice and management.

‘You start to ask yourself questions. I had lost the love. Having a break from the sport, I realised there is no justice in horses and it wasn’t my fault.

‘Having a baby has settled me and made me more balanced about life.’

It was after the break up of her turbulent eight-year relationship with former Badminton winner Oliver Townend that French made her first British appearance, at the European Championships in 2009.

French had thrown herself into her work. ‘I had to start over and set up a business again,’ she says. ‘I went from having eight horses to 25 and just put my head down.’

The hard work paid off as she won individual silver on Some Day Soon in Fontainebleau.

Then the build up to London began. ‘There wasn’t a moment I didn’t think about it and dream,’ says French. ‘But I wanted to go to London to win a gold medal, not just to take part.’

Her father Wally club bed together with his friend Michael Underwood to get French the horse power.

‘We found a couple of horses which didn’t cost the earth in Jakarta and DHI Topper W. They were such talented but lovely horses and Dad and Mike were great friends and supporters. To compete at a home Olympics was the dream for all of us. The hype for London was massive and even by the end of 2011 I was feeling pretty twitchy. The horses were in fantastic form but to keep them in that form and free of injury, I felt I had everything to lose, not everything to gain.’

In the final preparations for the Games, Jakarta won his last event but stumbled on the crosscountry one fence from home. He needed surgery that ruled him out and ultimately ended his career.

Then weeks before the Games, Topper had his last run, which French rode with caution but afterwards he had heat in his leg that ruled him out too.

French lost sponsors and Lottery funding and owners took horses away. She says: ‘It’s amazing how some people like to stick the knife in when you’re down. Giving up was high on the list but I didn’t have a choice. This isn’t just my love, it’s my livelihood, I had rent and staff wages to pay.

‘So you just put your face on and smile and work on. But for the first time in my life, I didn’t love riding horses.’

The year after London, French was selected for the European Championships, this time with a horse called Tinkas Time.

‘He won the final selection trial and the team was announced that night,’ she says. ‘But I hardly slept because all I could think was: “He’s going to be lame tomorrow”. I went out like a bolt the next morning and, of course, he was lame.

‘In hindsight, I might migh have taken the horse too quickly ik but I was desperate to do the Harvey Smith V-sign at everyone who was doubting me.’

After this, French started selling her future stable stars. ‘I was scared to let myself dream and I felt that if one more horse I loved had gone wrong, I would have taken a gun to my head.’

Then Tom March came back into her life. March is nine years her junior and first came to French as a student while he was a pupil at Uppingham School.

He contacted her again in 2012 asking to come for training and a friendship soon deepened into something more.

‘ He became my best friend during an incredibly tough time when I felt very alone,’ says French. ‘When it was time for him to leave, I realised I couldn’t be without him. He had been an absolute rock and someone I could trust 100 per cent.’

Starting a family was not in the plan at that time. ‘I went nuts at first because it was right at the beginning of the season and I had a yard of horses to compete and a business to run. But then you never know if you’ll get the chance again,’ she says. ‘ Tom said he would help and he has been amazing.’

Their household is a modern one. While French rides all day and competes several times a week, March, who has a degree inland management from Cambridge, looks after the baby, as well as overseeing t heir business.

‘Having time away from sport while I was pregnant did me good and I stopped being angry,’ she says. ‘I didn’t miss eventing while I was pregnant, to the point I wondered if I would go back to it. But I had scaled down to fewer horses, the pressure was off. I had the balance right with something else in my life other than horses and I enjoyed it again.’

As last season drew to a close French showed that she was firmly back on the map, finishing second at the Burghley Horse Trials with Vanir Kamira. French will be hoping to go one better at Badminton on the same horse.

‘She is not an easy character but she has a big heart and feels like she would do anything for you to jump those fences on the cross-country,’ French says.

There is added pressure at Badminton as it is a World Championship year.

‘Badminton is massive in every way and if there’s half a chance of getting to the World Games you have to have a good run there,’ French says. ‘But I don’t allow myself to dream so we won’t be thinking about championships and medals.’

Although there is a glint in her eye that suggests that is exactly what she has in mind.

The Mitsubishi Motors Badminton Horse Trials take place this week from Wednesday, May 2 to Sunday May 6, and is one of the largest attended events in the UK.

‘AFTER LONDON I WANTED TO DIG A BIG HOLE AND LIE IN IT’