The new Skoda is no joke

SO MRS Evans’s little sister Olivia won the Evans versus Babbington in-house babyface baby race last Tuesday wit h t he birth of handsome little Ari Murray Michael Babbington, weighing in at an almost perfect 7lb 4oz at 10.04am. Our twin unborns remain just that, as the countdown to the all-important 37 weeks (September 19) continues. From what we can gather, Ping & Pong are healthily baking away, growing stronger by the day in the safest place on Earth: their yummy mummy’s tummy.

In other news, the holidays are almost over for our two who already exist, having flashed by in a predictable blink of the eye. But! Not before we had a chance to test the seven-seater Skoda Kodiaq Sportline down on the south coast.

Originally meant to happen in Cornwall, our rendezvous with a car we have collectively been very excited about was changed at the last minute to Chewton Glen in the New Forest. This, after my wife very sensibly pointed out that Cornwall is a good six hours too far away from the neonatal emergency unit she might need to attend. Fair point, well made. Hampshire it was, then.

The Kodiaq arrived mid-morning on our first day, in plenty of time for several jolly japes we had planned: crabbing at Hengistbury Head, a jaunt over to the Isle of Wight for lunch at The Hut, and nipping to see Granny Sarah in Poole.

As a family, we are genuinely considering the Kodiaq Sportline as our new family car, having become Skoda super-fans over the last two years. That said, not to the extent that we are blinded by loyalty. For example, ‘It’s not very big for a seven-seater, is it Dad?’ wondered number one son. And he was right, it really isn’t. In fact, the first thing we did next was check just to make sure there were two extra seats back there. And yes, thank goodness, there they were, small but perfectly formed.

‘OK, panic over, pile in everyone,’ enthused Mummy. The now-confirmed seven-seater was about to be put through the mill with a full complement of seven human beings – us lot, plus a pal and his two anklebiters. So, three grown-ups (one 6ft 5in, me 6ft 2in, Tash 5ft 9in), plus four boys (two nine-year-olds, a six-year-old and a five-year-old).

‘Everyone all right back there?’ Mrs E shouted from the driver’s seat. (As she will be the one driving our new family van most of the time, it was only right she had first dibs on the Skodiaq experience.)

There is plenty of room all round, bearing in mind that seats six and seven are really for kids only, possibly young teenagers, but beyond that things would begin to get a bit uncomfortable a nd generall y squished. Also, once those two rear seats are deployed, the luggage space behind is reduced to no more than enough perhaps for a couple of day bags, the odd scooter or skateboard and a cool box.

‘It’s really nice but we couldn’t go on holiday in it,’ mourned Tash after about half an hour behind the wheel. I could tell she liked it because she’d gone all quiet and content, drifting off into her own private Skoda idyll. ‘Roof box!’ I piped up. ‘Ooh yes, I suppose that would be all right, wouldn’t it?’ I’ve never had a car with a roof box, so I couldn’t say for sure, but I was keen to keep the positive momentum going.

After a round of teas, fizzy pop and 99 ice creams at one of the several heavenly beach- side cafés around Milford on Sea, it was Dad’s turn to drive.

Because of the compactness of the Kodiaq, it doesn’t feel like an ungainly monster out on the road. You’re high up but not so high up you might encounter a bird strike or feel like you’re looking down your nose at the rest of the world. In the cabin itself, the dash, controls, info screen etc, are laid out with Skoda’s new simplistic and stylish approach, though not at all basic and bargain basement but rather clean, sharp, smart and confident.

Once behind the wheel, I was particularly surprised at the almost complete lack of body roll, and the general sportiness of the handling, especially in the more dynamic driving modes with paddle-shift selected. There is a genuine sense of acceleration and power, unlike some similar- sized SUVs t hat (especially under load) often feel like they’re just about hanging on in there, desperately trying to live up to their looks and owners’ expecta- tions. And here we are talking about a car that starts at an incredible £21,000 – for a seven-seater! OK, ours came in at just under £40k, which is a whole different ball game but still, compared to most market rivals that represents amazing value. Check this out for a standard Sportline spec: 4WD, Alcantara everything, carbon finish dash, secret umbrellas in the doors, privacy glass, panoramic sunroof, sports dials, rear diffuser, LED lights all round, automatic cruise control, 9.2in touchscreen, 20in anthracite sports wheels, electrically operated boot... the list just keeps on going. Plus, how about almost 50mpg without even trying to be economical? If this sounds too good to be true, I can only apologise for these are the facts.

That’s the way Skoda rolls nowadays. The only thing you might have to put up with is the odd snide remark from dinosaurs who still don’t get how good they are, who don’t understand the sheer common sense in buying a quality car for far less than they think they need to spend and then having heaps of cash left over to spend on making memories in their new pride and joy.

Talking of which, the third trip out in the Kodiaq was to a fantastic bike shop in Brockenhurst, where Noah spent his birthday and Christmas money from the last three years on his first proper bike, a bright red seven-gear Frog hybrid. What a stunner. Simply gorgeous. In which case, four-and-a-half stars for the car, and five stars for Noah’s first set of serious wheels.

What do you get if you load a Frog bike in the back of a Skoda Kodiaq? A right ribbiting ride. Sorry, it’s been a long week.

DINOSAURS DON’T GET HOW GOOD THESE CARS ARE