Why do women suffer impostor syndrome?
Many believe they are terrible frauds, about to be found out
IT IS, perhaps surprisingly, a story I hear with depressing regularity. The business executive at a leading technology company sitting in my clinic was visibly anxious and it transpired that despite being a key player in the boardroom, she was crippled with ruinous self-doubt.
She told me: ‘People think that I’m this great success story. They want to badge me up as some kind of poster girl for the working mother.
‘They have this inflated belief of who I am and what I can do. I cringe every time I hear it. And one day they’re going to catch me out.’
This woman was in no shortage of compliments. What was lacking – in spades – was the belief they were valid or deserved.
And, odd as it might sound to those who have never felt this way, this is far from an isolated case.
As a psychologist whose special area of interest is mental health in the workplace, more and more people are being referred to me suffering with what has been termed impostor syndrome. This isn’t just a case of low self-esteem. It’s a distinct pattern of thoughts and behaviour that are alarmingly common, especially among women.
It makes sufferers believe they’re a terrible fraud, whose best is never good enough, and whose lack of capability for their highly lauded roles will soon be ‘discovered’.
Their doubts prevail despite evidence of t heir s i gnifi cant achievements. And ultimately, many succumb to burnout, anxiety, and stress-related illnesses triggered by their unhealthy thoughts.
Indeed a review article published in the International Journal Of Behavioural Science found an estimated 70 per cent of people – an alarming majority of them female – experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives.
Sufferers include actress Meryl Streep and Facebook supremo Sheryl Sandburg, who all have spoken openly about the crushing psychological toll the condition can take on the body and mind.
Radio 4 Today presenter Mishal Husain – who is paid £230,000 a year – recently revealed herself to be another candidate when she said: ‘I still have many uncomfortable moments, and times when I come off air and think I’m not cut out for this job.’
And so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, where the greater the accomplishment the greater the worry that the ‘truth’ of your abilities will be uncovered and you will be laid bare for the phoney you really are. In the process it batters self-esteem, drains self-confidence, impacts on mental wellbeing and affects personal relationships.
WHY WOMEN ARE MORE VULNERABLE
WHEN it was first identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, impostor syndrome was thought to affect only women. In fact the split tends to be around 60 per cent women to 40 men. But women seem especially vulnerable.
It may be in part that they are playing catch-up with the cultural inequities that in the past, meant they wouldn’t have played the roles they now do in professional life. They may feel they have been appointed out of luck or to fulfil some PC tokenism. And from an evolutionary perspective, success has been regarded a ‘male term’ with connotations to status and power.
SO WHICH TYPE OF ‘IMPOSTOR’ ARE YOU?
B R O A DLY, there are five key impostor syndrome personality types, which therapists and sufferers need to understand in order to tackle the problem:
1: The Perfectionist: those who set an impossibly high bar for themselves. 2: The Superwoman/ man: those who push themselves with work overload to smokescreen their insecurities. 3: The Natural Genius: innately brilliant people who judge success by ability rather than effort. So if they have to work at it, it must mean they are bad at it. 4: The Rugged Individualist: the person who believes asking for help will blow their phoney cover. 5: The Expert: somehow through trickery they hoodwinked their way i nto a position and now fear being exposed as i nexperienced or unknowledgeable.
It is possible to exhibit more than one type of impostor characteristic but it is when the thoughts and feelings begin to impact on your way of life – causing day-to-day unhappiness, sleep difficulties, and even diagnoses like anxiety and depression – that it is time to get help.
HOW TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST INNER DOUBT
AS I tell my clients, the first thing to do is acknowledge the problem, recognise it for what it is.
When that voice in your head murmurs that they’ll ‘find you out’ you can square up to it. As soon as you name it, you control it.
Start by writing down the facts: you graduated with honours, you’re in an important, responsible role, you were promoted after so many years with the company.
Then be brutally introspective and score against these statements the percentage chances you got the job through, say, luck, rather than experience or success in previous roles. You can’t possibly have been lucky each and every time.
Acknowledge that you don’t have to be perfect to be a success.
I also advocate keeping a journal – note down every time you have a t hought about not being good enough. Is it realistic to feel that way given the evidence?
Finally, realise that impostor syndrome has its benefits too. It means you constantly strive to improve.
You’re also likely to be courageous, compassionate and sensitive to others – harness those feelings.
Once you have grasped t hat self-knowledge you’ll realise the only impostors in your life were the sham feelings cheating you out of the success that is truly yours.